Star Trek 11 - first pics
- Rakis
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Star Trek 11 - first pics
http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20233788,00.html
They seem to be going for a 60's look...
I'm not sure about the Kirk guy...
They seem to be going for a 60's look...
I'm not sure about the Kirk guy...
Neutrinos watch alert !
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Enh.
Enterprise and that Nemesis flop pretty much did in my interest in this franchise.
I mean, I still have fond feelings for TOS, because I grew up watching it, but the liberties they take with reality (no warp, no subspace, no transporters...no way!) kinda kill it for me now.
But this could add a new perspective on certain slash classics.
"Come here, ma bitch."
(Btw, that EW site really sucks. Why the blue fook couldn't they put all the pix on one page? )
Enterprise and that Nemesis flop pretty much did in my interest in this franchise.
I mean, I still have fond feelings for TOS, because I grew up watching it, but the liberties they take with reality (no warp, no subspace, no transporters...no way!) kinda kill it for me now.
But this could add a new perspective on certain slash classics.
"Come here, ma bitch."
(Btw, that EW site really sucks. Why the blue fook couldn't they put all the pix on one page? )
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
IDK, so they could get their fookin' adverts to load 11 times? kerr-ching!
Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with, and I know, that given the choice, I wouldn't have chosen you as friends, but I just want to say, that over the years, I have come to regard you as people I met.
-Rimmer’s farewell speech
-Rimmer’s farewell speech
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No dobut my hatred for nearly all of Star Trek has been well noted by now, so naturally I'd be indifferent to a certain degree. At the same time, my formative years did imprint upon me a fondness for the original series, which I can still watch to this day. I love the distinctly 60's feel of it and the classic sci-fi flavor of the original series. Plus, how can you not like Kirk, Spock and Bones?
But I just have to say, J.J. Abrams (director attached to this new film) is very likely the most overrated Hollywood player currently in the business. The guy makes Brett Ratner look like a humble, grounded "filmmaker" by comparison. The phrase "failing upwards" was definitely coined by someone who knew a guy like Abrams
But I just have to say, J.J. Abrams (director attached to this new film) is very likely the most overrated Hollywood player currently in the business. The guy makes Brett Ratner look like a humble, grounded "filmmaker" by comparison. The phrase "failing upwards" was definitely coined by someone who knew a guy like Abrams
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
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Ill see this one, and I cannot wait for it to come out. I loved TOS, the first six movies (except for that stupid one with the whale) and especially TNG. TNG was the highest form of space opera ever made, especially seasons 5-7, and will never be topped in that regard. This could be a good exciting start, and Ill give it all the chances it deserves.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
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- Rakis
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Well, i'm a trekkie, so i will see it...even if it sucks, it's the chance to see Leonard Nimoy for the last time as Spock, so for me, it's great news...Omphalos wrote:Ill see this one, and I cannot wait for it to come out. I loved TOS, the first six movies (except for that stupid one with the whale) and especially TNG. TNG was the highest form of space opera ever made, especially seasons 5-7, and will never be topped in that regard. This could be a good exciting start, and Ill give it all the chances it deserves.
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I just think that this one has so much potential. Here is the new trailer.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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OK...this one could be fun.
(One point, though: what is it Kirk is looking at when he rides up on the bike? Some kind of construction yard? Please tell me that's not a ship they're building there. On the surface of the planet. )
(What planet was Kirk from, by the way? Earth? Some colony world? Is the two misfits angle supposed to be the foundation of the friendship with Spock? Ah, lots of questions.... )
(One point, though: what is it Kirk is looking at when he rides up on the bike? Some kind of construction yard? Please tell me that's not a ship they're building there. On the surface of the planet. )
(What planet was Kirk from, by the way? Earth? Some colony world? Is the two misfits angle supposed to be the foundation of the friendship with Spock? Ah, lots of questions.... )
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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I guess we will have to see. IIRC official ST lore is a bit fuzzy on this one, as the Enterprise D was first supposed to have been build in Utopia Planatia (which is a region on Mars) and alternatively in drydock around Earth.SandChigger wrote:(One point, though: what is it Kirk is looking at when he rides up on the bike? Some kind of construction yard? Please tell me that's not a ship they're building there. On the surface of the planet. )
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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The idea of building a starship ON a planet (especially one of the size these things are supposed to be) is so out-dated and ... well, just DUMB.
Gah.
Gah.
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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In the age of space colonization, it's definitely a ridiculous idea building a space ship on the surface of a planet. But perhaps they are only building certain sections on Earth. Then again, how do they expect that pieces to get up to space? (and yes, I know the Trek universe features artificial gravity, but as far as I know they don't have Star Wars-style tech, with all these massive destroyers floating within a planet's gravity well).
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
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A space elevator!
Don't get me started on transporters again: death machines, that's all they are. They kill you and reassemble a clone in a new location. Same thing for Stargates and the ring-thingies, and "faxing" in Simmons' post-human universe. Crichton's time machine, too. Oh, and those transport pads uses by the Puppeteers in the Ringworld stories, too.
Bad mojo, any way you look at it.
The "doors" opened by Calebans and "free-casting" in Simmons' Hyperion universe are safe but fairly implausible. YOU actually physically move from one location to another; no dissolution or reassembly required. (I'm a little fuzzy at the moment on Simmons' far-casters and Banks' displacements.)
It's like the serial immortality of the BT Masters: what good does it do the individual? What do I care if a clone that thinks it's me gets to go down and run around on a planet before getting killed in turn and a third clone is created to replace me here? I'm DEAD.
Don't get me started on transporters again: death machines, that's all they are. They kill you and reassemble a clone in a new location. Same thing for Stargates and the ring-thingies, and "faxing" in Simmons' post-human universe. Crichton's time machine, too. Oh, and those transport pads uses by the Puppeteers in the Ringworld stories, too.
Bad mojo, any way you look at it.
The "doors" opened by Calebans and "free-casting" in Simmons' Hyperion universe are safe but fairly implausible. YOU actually physically move from one location to another; no dissolution or reassembly required. (I'm a little fuzzy at the moment on Simmons' far-casters and Banks' displacements.)
It's like the serial immortality of the BT Masters: what good does it do the individual? What do I care if a clone that thinks it's me gets to go down and run around on a planet before getting killed in turn and a third clone is created to replace me here? I'm DEAD.
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Ive been seeing space elevators pop up a lot recently. In Marsbound there were two of them.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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I believe that's Riverside, Iowa.SandRider wrote:in the original series, the transporter was invented after Gene looked at some figures for special effects to land the ship on a planet .... and Kirk's from Idaho, I think. on Earth, tho, somewhere in the Western US, like John Wayne...
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I guess. But the thing is, if they've got the technology and finances to build something as amazing as a space elevator, warp drives, transporters, phasers, star ships and space colonies...what the fuck are they doing building "space ships" on the surface of the Earth?SandChigger wrote:A space elevator!
(I'm a little fuzzy at the moment on Simmons' far-casters and Banks' displacements.)
Btw, that's rhetorical. I don't want to read the absurdly verbose Trek-nerd rationalization.
Onto a real sci-fi universe, in Iain M Banks Culture novels, Displacers are only vaguely described, but they are wormhole driven and do not involve any kind of matter deconstruction or transformation into energy. Though personality backups in The Culture would basically offend you in much the same way.
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
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There is none! Enterprise was built at the San Francisco Shipyard in orbit around earth. Arrgh...Btw, that's rhetorical. I don't want to read the absurdly verbose Trek-nerd rationalization.
Well, that's according to my beautiful FASA book...
I'm not gonna quote cannon on that movie, it's a reboot and pretty much fucks up anything we saw in the last 40 years...but i'm still going to see it...
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Omph: http://www.liftport.com/
I was in contact with one of the people there in another incarnation. (Before I achieved Jewish sainthood. )
Where do I sign up?!
(The restored "copy" still wouldn't be me anymore than the Captain Kirk me walking on the planet or the third one who steps out of the transporter back onto the ship. But it doesn't offend me in the way killer transportation does. Oh...what were the people who refused to be backed up called again? )
I was in contact with one of the people there in another incarnation. (Before I achieved Jewish sainthood. )
Why in any world would you think that? Rather than "offend" me, I think they make incredible sense as a back-up method, with all that implies in terms of the potential of inflicting myself (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) on people after I myself have died or been killed.GamePlayer wrote:Though personality backups in The Culture would basically offend you in much the same way.
Where do I sign up?!
(The restored "copy" still wouldn't be me anymore than the Captain Kirk me walking on the planet or the third one who steps out of the transporter back onto the ship. But it doesn't offend me in the way killer transportation does. Oh...what were the people who refused to be backed up called again? )
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Though I admit I don't know for sure, I'm going to assume Trek is no exception to the problems with Game and RPG information. So they would definitely be the last source from which to cite accurate information. Speaking as a Macross fan, Macross is still digging itself out from under the trash heap of Palladium books misinformation and made up crapRakis wrote:There is none! Enterprise was built at the San Francisco Shipyard in orbit around earth. Arrgh...Btw, that's rhetorical. I don't want to read the absurdly verbose Trek-nerd rationalization.
Well, that's according to my beautiful FASA book...
I'm not gonna quote cannon on that movie, it's a reboot and pretty much fucks up anything we saw in the last 40 years...but i'm still going to see it...
But I'd agree, since reboots/re-imaginings are all the rage these days, I'd say that's exactly what is happening with this new Star Trek film.
Oh I see, so it's the concept of separating one's continuing consciousness from their own body that bothers you. I assume this issue is a "soul" sort of thing? Well The Culture in Iain M Banks books is guilty of that one too. Living citizens can choose to have their consciousness converted to an artificial state, which would be the exact same thing that bothers you about the matter-energy transport of Trek. Of course there is also subliming in The Culture as well, which in some ways would be considered a spiritual transfer to some readers (though again it is not, as described by Banks).SandChigger wrote:Why in any world would you think that? Rather than "offend" me, I think they make incredible sense as a back-up method, with all that implies in terms of the potential of inflicting myself (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) on people after I myself have died or been killed.GamePlayer wrote:Though personality backups in The Culture would basically offend you in much the same way.
Where do I sign up?!
(The restored "copy" still wouldn't be me anymore than the Captain Kirk me walking on the planet or the third one who steps out of the transporter back onto the ship. But it doesn't offend me in the way killer transportation does. Oh...what were the people who refused to be backed up called again? )
Those Culture citizens that did not choose backup were simply called "disposables".
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
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That trailer ran during Sarah Conner the other night and I finally saw it clearly. It is the Enterprise he is looking at on the ground, all assembled and waiting hull plating.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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de nada x 2SandChigger wrote:
Idiots.
But thanks for the info. And for that other thing, again, too.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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It may be wrong, but that's one hell of a pic...Freakzilla wrote:http://img.trekmovie.com/images/st09/tr ... is/056.jpg
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Yeah, I was just going to say something to the same effect.
Wrong as hell but...kewl. Gots me a new image for the revolving desktop.
Wrong as hell but...kewl. Gots me a new image for the revolving desktop.
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Oh.
Well, it was inevitable that the fun of the trailer would wear out as details of the reality seep out....
Oh, look! My two biggest unfavorite Trek things, time travel and transporting, BROUGHT TOGETHER! At least they didn't bring Denny Crane in, too.
(Funny thing: one of my satellite channels was doing a 30-hour Trek marathon last night! I watched most of one episode—the one where the away team is on a planet where life extension research went terribly wrong and resulted in a virus that allowed children to live for hundreds of years but killed anyone past puberty—while waiting for Bladerunner to start on another channel. Shatner really was a crappy actor back then. "He can't act for shit...but if he was, he wouldn't get a smell.")
Well, it was inevitable that the fun of the trailer would wear out as details of the reality seep out....
Footage: Kirk has met up on an ice planet with Spock--not the one played by Zachary Quinto, but the older Spock, played by Leonard Nimoy, from the future. The two find Montgomery Scott (Simon Pegg), where he has been laboring in obscurity, to help them get back to the Enterprise by way of "trans-warp" beaming.
Oh, look! My two biggest unfavorite Trek things, time travel and transporting, BROUGHT TOGETHER! At least they didn't bring Denny Crane in, too.
(Funny thing: one of my satellite channels was doing a 30-hour Trek marathon last night! I watched most of one episode—the one where the away team is on a planet where life extension research went terribly wrong and resulted in a virus that allowed children to live for hundreds of years but killed anyone past puberty—while waiting for Bladerunner to start on another channel. Shatner really was a crappy actor back then. "He can't act for shit...but if he was, he wouldn't get a smell.")
Right. Space jump. So we know already the redshirt misses and bites it, that's what they're for. I'm completely confused as to what a "high-orbit drilling platform" might be, though. Anyone got any clues? Last time I checked Vulcan wasn't a gas giant, so they can't be mining, right?Footage: The final scene is an action sequence in which Kirk, Sulu and a "redshirt"--he's actually wearing a red suit--"space jump" out of a shuttle to try to land on a high-orbit drilling platform constructed by the Romulans above the Vulcan surface. The thrilling sequence includes high-velocity descents, sword fighting (Cho's Sulu knows "fencing," naturally) and a last-minute rescue.
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Maybe it's a space elevator-drilling platform thingy...Right. Space jump. So we know already the redshirt misses and bites it, that's what they're for. I'm completely confused as to what a "high-orbit drilling platform" might be, though. Anyone got any clues? Last time I checked Vulcan wasn't a gas giant, so they can't be mining, right?
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Some sort of platform that gets dropped onto a body whole and does its thing? Or an orbital station for launching ore outwards?SandChigger wrote:I'm completely confused as to what a "high-orbit drilling platform" might be, though. Anyone got any clues? Last time I checked Vulcan wasn't a gas giant, so they can't be mining, right?
Or some sort of kinky space-sex thing?
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Thats how you make worms-"holes". tut, don't you guys know anythingI'm completely confused as to what a "high-orbit drilling platform" might be, though. Anyone got any clues?
Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with, and I know, that given the choice, I wouldn't have chosen you as friends, but I just want to say, that over the years, I have come to regard you as people I met.
-Rimmer’s farewell speech
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Not really. I meant just as a station in zero g to launch ore cargo from. To tell the truth I think that the description they gave is nonsense.SandChigger wrote:You mean like a mass driver, Omph?
I think I prefer the bouncy worm holes.
Or a place where "high orbit drilling" means "90 mile high club."
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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Oh, damn, wish I'd thought of that one!
(For the ore, you mean like a storage type thing? Shuttle ore up from the surface and store it on the station until cargo ships could pick it up and take it elsewhere? That kind of thing?)
(For the ore, you mean like a storage type thing? Shuttle ore up from the surface and store it on the station until cargo ships could pick it up and take it elsewhere? That kind of thing?)
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Right. The concept is that you use high energy to get it to orbit, then put it in a massive freighter that will boost out of the system on low energy. It makes mining more economically feasible if you do it that way. Still, the term "drilling" does not fit with this concept. WTF are you going to "drill" in high orbit, except for a hot green slave chick?SandChigger wrote:(For the ore, you mean like a storage type thing? Shuttle ore up from the surface and store it on the station until cargo ships could pick it up and take it elsewhere? That kind of thing?)
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
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- Alien Overlord
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Ill have to look at that later. My work machine wont display it.GamePlayer wrote:Cue album cover...Omphalos wrote:blah, blah, blah, hot green slave chick blah, blah, blah
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
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Awww, work is no fun.
They probably have somethingawful flagged. I'd upload the picture to my own webspace, but I'm at work right now and don't have access to it.
They probably have somethingawful flagged. I'd upload the picture to my own webspace, but I'm at work right now and don't have access to it.
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
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- Alien Overlord
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They have taken my access away from here and Jacurutu twice now, but for some reason a bit later it has come back both times. Thank God!!! I'd go crazy without this.GamePlayer wrote:Awww, work is no fun.
They probably have somethingawful flagged. I'd upload the picture to my own webspace, but I'm at work right now and don't have access to it.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
I have thought about this movie in about 10 different ways and 9 of those didnt result in a warm fuzzy. I am not a complete "trekkie" so much as just luv Sci-Fi. Suffice to say I like everything StarTrek, except Voyager, couldnt really stand it, I think it was janeway's voice..sounded like she was gargling rusty nails when she talked.
10 movies.. Great
TOS...Kick ass
NG....Great
Voyager...Sucked ( well jerri ryan as 7 of 9....HOT)
DS9 ...kick ass
Enterrpise...Great (com officer and Tpal ROCK!!!)
The way I am looking at this is they are reintroducing StarTrek to a new generation, and that is cool, I guess. Leaves old fans kinda on a cliff, but I know they are giving this movie all the money and attention it deserves so I fully expect it to be fun.
Transporters, Space elevators, ...etc, Im a tek so I dig all of it. I really like the mod this... mod that... get more out it ... thing in startrek.. makes it fun as hell.
Trang
10 movies.. Great
TOS...Kick ass
NG....Great
Voyager...Sucked ( well jerri ryan as 7 of 9....HOT)
DS9 ...kick ass
Enterrpise...Great (com officer and Tpal ROCK!!!)
The way I am looking at this is they are reintroducing StarTrek to a new generation, and that is cool, I guess. Leaves old fans kinda on a cliff, but I know they are giving this movie all the money and attention it deserves so I fully expect it to be fun.
Transporters, Space elevators, ...etc, Im a tek so I dig all of it. I really like the mod this... mod that... get more out it ... thing in startrek.. makes it fun as hell.
Trang
I don't know if you guys have seen this before, but it's pretty funny. The new movie has to be better than this! http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-1.html
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- Alien Overlord
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Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
- SandChigger
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There's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY it could be worse than Nemesis. ... Unless there's some contrived wankery bringing together characters from different time periods.
Oops....
Oops....
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
- Rakis
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DATA: The transporters conveniently failed after sending Picard, so I'm going to leap across space to get to Shinzon's ship.
GEORDI: What about the transporters in the shuttles?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: What about the Captain's Yacht?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: Why didn't we just send a bomb instead of Picard?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: What about the transporters in the cargo bays? They're independent units, remember?
DATA: What part of "shut the fuck up" do you not understand? This is my big heroic exit, asshole. Don't fuck it up.
We MUST do this with the new Dune film...
Neutrinos watch alert !
- The Phantom
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Rakis wrote:DATA: The transporters conveniently failed after sending Picard, so I'm going to leap across space to get to Shinzon's ship.
GEORDI: What about the transporters in the shuttles?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: What about the Captain's Yacht?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: Why didn't we just send a bomb instead of Picard?
DATA: Shut up.
GEORDI: What about the transporters in the cargo bays? They're independent units, remember?
DATA: What part of "shut the fuck up" do you not understand? This is my big heroic exit, asshole. Don't fuck it up.
We MUST do this with the new Dune film...
awesome!
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If you guys get a kick out of that kind of thing, head over to The Editing Room, which features humorous abridged scripts of popular movies. I've been going there for years and sometimes its just hysterical. Granted, some of the abridged scripts are really funny, some aren't and I don't think they have any Trek ones, but head over there and take a look:
http://www.the-editing-room.com/
Enjoy
http://www.the-editing-room.com/
Enjoy
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
- Rakis
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The movie begins. Instead of the traditional ‘STAR WARS’ logo disappearing into the distance, we see a modernized ‘CLONE WARS’ logo.
AUDIENCE
What …
Instead of the classic Star Wars theme, we hear a remix of the theme.
AUDIENCE
… The …
Instead of an opening text crawl, we are treated to a cheesy NARRATOR that sounds like the guy doing the propaganda ads for STARSHIP TROOPERS talking over overly stylized ANIMATION.
AUDIENCE
… Fuck?!?
JABBA THE HUTT’S UNCLE is an offensive homosexual stereotype.
AUDIENCE
FUCK THE SHIT RIGHT OUT OF THIS.
The AUDIENCE leaves to go watch THE DARK KNIGHT again.
Neutrinos watch alert !
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This is still my favorite abridgment of the Star Wars films...
IAN MCDIARMID
You seem worried about Natalie dying. Also, you’re confused about being a Jedi.
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
They don’t want me to fuck Natalie Portman. That’s insanity. Did you see her in Closer? Holy fuck.
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
- Rakis
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- Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:07 pm
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That would also turn me to the dark side...GamePlayer wrote:This is still my favorite abridgment of the Star Wars films...
IAN MCDIARMID
You seem worried about Natalie dying. Also, you’re confused about being a Jedi.
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
They don’t want me to fuck Natalie Portman. That’s insanity. Did you see her in Closer? Holy fuck.
Neutrinos watch alert !
- The Phantom
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Rakis wrote:That would also turn me to the dark side...GamePlayer wrote:This is still my favorite abridgment of the Star Wars films...
IAN MCDIARMID
You seem worried about Natalie dying. Also, you’re confused about being a Jedi.
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
(furrowing his brow)
They don’t want me to fuck Natalie Portman. That’s insanity. Did you see her in Closer? Holy fuck.
lol that's awesome..
the abridged dark knight on that site is great too.
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I love the abridged Dark Knight script as well.
HEATH LEDGER
Once upon a time, I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Er, no, I mean in complete contrast to you. You’re actually kind of a butterface. But at least you’re not Katie Holmes, I like that.
BAT-BALE
Then you’re gonna love me!
HEATH LEDGER
How the hell did a guy in a giant bat costume sneak up right next to me without anyone noticing?
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
- The Phantom
- Posts: 597
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:06 pm
- Location: Toronto
GamePlayer wrote:I love the abridged Dark Knight script as well.
HEATH LEDGER
Once upon a time, I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Er, no, I mean in complete contrast to you. You’re actually kind of a butterface. But at least you’re not Katie Holmes, I like that.
BAT-BALE
Then you’re gonna love me!
HEATH LEDGER
How the hell did a guy in a giant bat costume sneak up right next to me without anyone noticing?
lol i loved the comments that commented on the movie's structure and contrived plot elements
Various MOBS all meet in a single room to facilitate the plot. Suddenly, HEATH LEDGER enters.
ERIC ROBERTS
So all of your best lines from the trailer were from you quoting your douchebag father? That’s almost as disappointing as the way the last scene brought back Cillian Murphy just to get rid of him in 2 minutes.
CHRISTIAN BALE
Morgan, I need to fly to Hong Kong, kidnap Chin Han, then fly out. Can you help me using technology and caustic banter? Also I want a new suit that lets me turn my head.
MORGAN FREEMAN
A whole new suit? You spent the entire last movie building the first one, and you want a totally redesigned new one after one line of dialogue?
CHRISTIAN BALE
Yes.
MORGAN FREEMAN
Your new suit is ready, have fun.
CHRISTIAN grabs her in midair, allowing MAGGIE to avoid landing on the PAVEMENT by landing safely on a CAR instead.
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL
Thanks for catching me, but how are we going to resolve the issue of Heath still terrorizing your party guests upstairs?
BAT-BALE
Maybe if we awkwardly cut to the next scene, nobody will notice that we accidentally lost some pages of the screenplay.
- Rakis
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GamePlayer wrote:I love the abridged Dark Knight script as well.
HEATH LEDGER
Once upon a time, I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Er, no, I mean in complete contrast to you. You’re actually kind of a butterface. But at least you’re not Katie Holmes, I like that.
BAT-BALE
Then you’re gonna love me!
HEATH LEDGER
How the hell did a guy in a giant bat costume sneak up right next to me without anyone noticing?
Neutrinos watch alert !
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- Alien Overlord
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OK, here is the latest trailer for this. I'll hold off until I see the movie, but I think its safe to say that most of your father's ST is gone, and probably ain't ever coming back.
Parts of this thing look amazing. Parts look a bit melodramatic. But...what else is Hollywood ever going to bring, yea?
Nice Batman music, BTW.
Parts of this thing look amazing. Parts look a bit melodramatic. But...what else is Hollywood ever going to bring, yea?
Nice Batman music, BTW.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)
The Omphalos Umbrella Page
- Freakzilla
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- SandChigger
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"Fuck you" seems to be a common attitude among newcomers to established franchises, no?Abrams has already stated that his goal of making the movie was not for the hardcore Trekkies, but for newcomers to the franchise. Not sure how I would feel about that if I was a Trekkie, kinda feels like a slap in the face, but whatever, I’m not one, so I can’t really say.
(Yes of course I mean him.)
I'll see it. Why not? Ooh! Boom! Bang!
It's Star Trek, after all. (= NOT REALLY SCIFI.) What's not to like?
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."
Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.