The Box, by Chanilover

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:06 am

Enjoy!

The Box.

“I know she has come to test him. No man has ever been tested with Hypalia’s box. Tonight, I may lose my son.”

Violent flashes of lightning illuminated the otherwise black sky, the peals of thunder echoed through the castle walls. Paul trembled with fear. He had had a restless night, the dream had been disturbing. He had nocturnal visions on a regular basis, and had done for the last couple of years, which were accompanied by stirrings in his loins and emissions after vigorous rubbings. The visions of female voluptuousness had recently given way to horrifying sights of an overweight woman with hairy legs and a mono-brow. Such visions invariably caused Paul to lose his erection, leaving him frustrated and confused.

The forthcoming move to Arrakis had not helped matters, disturbing his sleep. The hustle and bustle of the castle had reached fever pitch, and young Paul was finding it difficult to concentrate on his studies.

He was feeling scared, lonely but strangely intrigued by the woman who had landed on a Guild frigate last night, apparently from a heighliner which had swung into orbit from a direct path from Arrakis. He had caught a glimpse of her this morning. She cut a strange figure, and the deference with which she was accorded by everyone around her impressed and repelled Paul in equal measure. He had heard her described as Hypalia, the Grand Drama Llama of Arrakeen.

Paul knocked at his mother’s door and entered. He was greeted by the sight of his mother kow-towing on the floor towards Hypalia.

Who was this woman in the corduroy trousers and tacky, 1980’s Lady Diana style blouse buttoned right up to the neck, the physical constraints in her couture mirroring the suffocating narrowness of her bigoted mind and empty, loveless soul?

“Leave us, Jessica. I’m not in the mood to argue. This thread is closed. Exact quotes, please, what is your problem exactly? Don’t answer back, a one legged blind lesbian from the other side of the galaxy who was beaten by her father and run over by an ice cream van might take offence at anything you may say, giving me no option but to delete what you have just said, suspend you speaking rights, or possibly render you mute on a permanent basis”

Jessica paled in fright. She had witnessed first hand the legendary hissy fits of this completely irrational creature. She left the room.

Hypalia regarded Paul, and slowly pulled down her corduroy trousers, revealing a bush so overgrown and unkempt that it reminded Paul of the forests of strange vines in Ecaz. He was also reminded of the filmbooks he had seen of the long-lost Amazonian rainforests of Old Terra.

“Put your hand in my box” ordered Hypalia.

“She’s using that nagging, irritating Voice on me” thought Paul. Despite his mother’s training, he found it impossible to resist.

“What is in the box?” he enquired of Hypalia, his voice quivering with fear.

“Pain” she replied. “Stop! I hold at your neck the Gom Jabbar, the high-handed, hyper-sensitive and totally irrational delete button. Say the wrong thing, and you will feel pain upon pain as I relentlessly bore you half shitless with my constant whining.”

Paul placed his hand in Hypalia’s box, sick with revulsion as his hand moved into the cold, heartless gaping cavern between Hypalia’s flabby, hairy thighs. His mouth retching, he noticed vaginal discharges running down her mis-shapen legs, noxious smells which struck a fear at a level in him which was almost primordial in its intensity.

“Ooh, yes,” groaned Hypalia, “Mmm, shove it in right up to your elbow”

Like a veterinary surgeon removing a calf from a cow’s innards, Paul inserted his arm in the gaping, heaving mound of flesh.

“Enough!” shrieked Hypalia. “Kull wahad, no man-child ever withstood such revulsion before. Remove your arm, young human”

Paul removed his arm from her Hypalia’s festering muff, and stifled a laugh as the castle windows reverberated to the sounds of an enormous pussy fart.

“Well,” said Hypalia, “I must return forthwith to Arrakeen. “Arnoloco, prepare my travelling bags”

Paul recoiled in shock at the sight of the creature who came in from the anteroom, it seemed to be half-human, half-slig with a two foot tongue encrusted from dried faeces, clearly the result of incessant arse-licking.

Hypalia then left the room with Arnoloco, the pair leaving a trail of pussy batter and slime on the castle’s stone floors.

“We’d best get that wiped up, young Master” muttered Thufir. “Tomorrow we leave for Arrakis”.

Mandy · Post by **Mandy** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:49 am

She's gonna claim you guys are sexually harassing her.

Post by **Omphalos** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:35 am

OMG! Waterworks running!

Post by **SandChigger** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:05 pm

Um...I think it's safe to say

CHANILOVER IS BACK!!!

And with a vengence.

Post by **Omphalos** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:07 pm

Humanity is shown through revulsion.

Post by **Robspierre** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:43 pm

WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Catfight!!!

Rob

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:46 pm

Disturbingly amusing.

Post by **Omphalos** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:51 pm

<bump>

Post by **SandChigger** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:11 am

This was inspired.

(Any other particular reason for the bump? Has Her Catcuntiness been rattling the cage or something somewhere? I lobbed one at Fantapop over on House Atreides yesterday, btw.)

Post by **Omphalos** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:22 am

No, she has been quiet. I was just bumping around the site last night and came across this gem. I thought it deserved a bump.

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:28 pm

This is freaky, I was only just thinking about this story on the way into work this morning, whilst approaching the end of Sandworms of Dune.

I think I need to put together an anthology of all the loose end stories, and maybe call it The Road To Trannies Of Dune. It would include The Box, The Pillow Biter's Book and those Worm stories I did a while ago.

Trannies 3 is sort of coming together, but not very well.

I'm thinking of doing it as Star Trek, with Duncan fucking his way around the galaxy on the SS Ithaca. Norma would make a great thingy - that black woman on the switchboard.

Working title is Trannies Volume 3, also called Cameltoes of Dune, or A Life In Leotards.

Post by **Omphalos** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:55 pm

Why dont you send all your story notes to some one like Sole Man and have him rewrite one or two of you stories? Then it really will be like The Road to Dune!

Post by **SandChigger** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:22 pm

HA HA!

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:19 pm

That's a pretty good idea.

Post by **Omphalos** » Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:04 pm

This should be awesome. Chig, we need a new cover!

Post by **Omphalos** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:31 pm

How's this coming?

Post by **SandChigger** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:07 pm

How's what coming?

Post by **Omphalos** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:31 pm

This:

chanilover wrote:I think I need to put together an anthology of all the loose end stories, and maybe call it The Road To Trannies Of Dune. It would include The Box, The Pillow Biter's Book and those Worm stories I did a while ago.

Trannies 3 is sort of coming together, but not very well. I'm thinking of doing it as Star Trek, with Duncan fucking his way around the galaxy on the SS Ithaca. Norma would make a great thingy - that black woman on the switchboard.

Working title is Trannies Volume 3, also called Cameltoes of Dune, or A Life In Leotards.

Post by **Freakzilla** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:05 pm

Omphalos wrote:This:

chanilover wrote:...Cameltoes of Dune...

I like it.

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 3:35 pm

Omphalos wrote:How's this coming?

My computer crashed a month or so ago and I lost everything on it. I hadn't backed anything up, so I'd have to start from scratch.

Post by **Omphalos** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 3:56 pm

chanilover wrote:
Omphalos wrote:How's this coming?
My computer crashed a month or so ago and I lost everything on it. I hadn't backed anything up, so I'd have to start from scratch.

That's what she said.

The Phantom · Post by **The Phantom** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:57 am

Omphalos wrote:
chanilover wrote:
Omphalos wrote:How's this coming?
My computer crashed a month or so ago and I lost everything on it. I hadn't backed anything up, so I'd have to start from scratch.
That's what she said.

quoi

Post by **Omphalos** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:30 am

Baraka Bryan wrote:
Omphalos wrote:
chanilover wrote:
Omphalos wrote:How's this coming?
My computer crashed a month or so ago and I lost everything on it. I hadn't backed anything up, so I'd have to start from scratch.
That's what she said.
quoi

I always thought the funniest use of that joke was at the nonsensical times.

The Phantom · Post by **The Phantom** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:31 am

Omphalos wrote:
Baraka Bryan wrote:
Omphalos wrote:
chanilover wrote:
Omphalos wrote:How's this coming?
My computer crashed a month or so ago and I lost everything on it. I hadn't backed anything up, so I'd have to start from scratch.
That's what she said.
quoi
I always thought the funniest use of that joke was at the nonsensical times.

+1

Post by **Omphalos** » Fri May 01, 2009 10:12 pm

A year and a half later and this thing still makes me laugh so hard I cry when I read it.

Rakis · Post by **Rakis** » Sat May 02, 2009 8:57 pm

“Leave us, Jessica. I’m not in the mood to argue. This thread is closed. Exact quotes, please, what is your problem exactly? Don’t answer back, a one legged blind lesbian from the other side of the galaxy who was beaten by her father and run over by an ice cream van might take offence at anything you may say, giving me no option but to delete what you have just said, suspend you speaking rights, or possibly render you mute on a permanent basis”

Best...part...ever !!

chanilover · Post by **chanilover** » Sun May 03, 2009 11:07 am

I've just re-read this story. God, I'm disgusting, what was I thinking?

I think I'll pull together that anthology, The Road To Trannies Of Dune. I should be able to weave some more stories into the ones I did a while ago. I had a draft story of Pansyass as Hyppo's sex slave, but as he's finally fucked off into oblivion that storyline seems a bit pointless now.

Post by **ᴶᵛᵀᴬ** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:44 pm

“Kull wahad, no man-child ever withstood such revulsion before. Remove your arm, young human”

Oh my gosh !

Man that was hilarious

Post by **D Pope** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:52 pm

chanilover wrote:I've just re-read this story. God, I'm disgusting, what was I thinking? I think I'll pull together that anthology, The Road To Trannies Of Dune. I should be able to weave some more stories into the ones I did a while ago. I had a draft story of Pansyass as Hyppo's sex slave, but as he's finally fucked off into oblivion that storyline seems a bit pointless now.

Lots of backroom presses... i'd buy a copy- just sayin'...

THE (ALMOST) UNDELETED

The Box, by Chanilover

The Box, by Chanilover

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