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Come gather round friends.....

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:17 am
by Omphalos
Gather round friends, for I have to share with you a story of woe and whoa! For I have been to the other side, and I lived to tell tale.

As some of you know my main office is in Sacramento, but I have lots of job duties in Seattle. I travel up here frequently, and as a matter of fact I am in Seattle as I write this. This evening after work I went to my favorite Seattle bookstore, University Books in the University Books in North Seattle. They have a big SF selection, and as I perused it this evening, I noticed three things. First, the Herbert section was almost empty. Second, it was almost empty of Pail of Dung copies. Once I noticed that the shelf had only three copies of that book, and nothing else, and the three copies were scratch-and-dent, my heart sunk. I thought, “if they sell a lot of these fucking dogs, its never, ever gonna end.” Then I looked closer at a loose tag on the shelf. It said:

BRIAN HERBERT
KEVIN J. ANDERSON
SEPTEMBER 16-17 ONLY!!!

Waidaminnute! WTF???

Today is the 16th!!!!

So I shot my head around to where the area where they usually store the visiting authors, and lo and behold I saw an old man looking at the ground, and a beadie-eyed charlatan whose lips were flapping a mile a minute. Shit! It was Brian and Kevin!

Off I trotted to the gathering. The first thing I noticed was that not all the chairs were occupied. “Fuck,” I thought. I’ve got no camera!” But it was OK. Good ole’ Shawn was there preserving the event for posterity. Again.

So I had an immediate dilemma. Do I ask about the bannings on Dunenovels? Should I ask if KJA read a few Edmund Hamilton novels before he started writing this thing? Should I grill them on the notes? Then I saw Duane, the guy who runs the place. I go there a lot, and it would be very sad if I were declared persona non grata, so I kept my mouth shut. But I’m sure that there was some OH’ers in the audience. Others grilled them on the notes for me. Not that they gave anything up though. I’m sure that they have told those lies so many times that even Brian does not have to be reminded what to say before every event any longer.

I did manage to get some nuggets. For example, BH said that the infamous notes were stored in a bank box at Seattle First National Bank and Trust, now the Bank of America, and that the estate attorney who was present when the box was opened, and who alerted the Herberts to its existence, was a guy named Walt Tabler, or Walt Taber. Ill look him up on the State Bar website today and let you know what I find. $10 says that he is dead now. BH said that the disks had “35 pages” (not ‘about’ 35 pages, but 35 pages exactly). I put my hand up to ask if they would ever be putting those docs in the Fullerton Archive, but they would not call on me. BH said that they are in his fire safe in his house.

They were also both asked a great deal about the movie. KJA strongly implied that the production crew was talking to he and BH about story elements. I wanted to ask what elements those were, but they wouldn’t acknowledge me. As a matter of fact, as soon as they mentioned the lawyer’s name I excused myself to go get a pen. I walked back in writing something down, and a few times I looked up from writing and saw KJA’s beady little eyes on me. As soon as I left I realized that I was wearing that same shirt I was wearing while taking a shit when my wife photographed me. I wonder…… I also was asked to sign up for an e-mail list that Kim Herbert was putting together. I said “no thank you,” but as soon as I left I remembered that I had an e-mail address that has “Omphalos” in it. I just may go back tomorrow and take care of that.

Oh, and KJA said that they are for sure going to be writing three more books after the current four were finished. They will be about the founding of the great houses. Sisterhoods (plural?) of Dune would be the first, followed by something else, then Suk of Dune. BH beat me to the punch by saying “Dune Suks.” And Kevin joked how they would stop before getting to Paperclips of Dune. Wasn’t it one of us who came up with that one? Chig, was that you?

So if I do go back tomorrow, I’m open for questions from the gallery. Nothing rude please, as I do NOT want to get the boot from this store.

I cant believe that I randomly ran into those fuckheads. I think Ill try to go to the Sacramento ass-kiss-fest too. I wonder if Byron will show at that one? Kim Herbert was there too, and she was every bit as sweet as she seems on-line. Shawn asked a few kiss-ass questions about the movie. A young guy with short brown hair and a red, blue and white plaid shirt was grilling KJA and BH on the notes for as long as they would let him. Is that person here? Show yerself dammit, and receive my kudos! Another guy with a green t-shirt and some arm tats seemed to sound as surly as I felt. Be you here too?

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:35 am
by Freakzilla
It's a small world... but I wouldn't want to paint it. :P

I think you mentioned all the big questions, I'll try to think of anything else.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:39 am
by A Thing of Eternity
That is a weird thing to happen out of the blue. Very weird. Wish I was there, not that I would have gotten anything out of them.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:09 am
by The Phantom
ummmm you should put some kind of a .. substance.. on your hands then shake hands with them..

think 24, end of season 2

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:10 am
by Nekhrun
Ask him if any other authors will be allowed to write Dune books after these two are finished with its corpse.

Also ask about the Spanish Dune film and why it was shut down when it was a loving tribute and visually stunning and fan-fiction.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:14 am
by The Phantom
grab a few tidbits from our trivia thread on jacurutu and pose some of them to the hacks. guaranteed they won't get them..

challenge them to a Dune-off

Re: Come gather round friends.....

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:21 am
by Sparafucile
Omphalos wrote:I walked back in writing something down, and a few times I looked up from writing and saw KJA’s beady little eyes on me. As soon as I left I realized that I was wearing that same shirt I was wearing while taking a shit when my wife photographed me. I wonder……
That made me laugh. :lol:

Cool story!

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:14 am
by Tleilax Master B
wow, that's an interesting thing to happen. You need to step it up a notch Omph. Don't do anything so bad that you kicked out of the store, but you really need to have them call on you and say "Hi, you probably know me as "Omphalos" online, I'd like to ask you a few questions...." Their eyes would get wide, but THEY would look like jackasses in front of everyone if they refused to at least listen to one of your questions and respond. I suspect they would be so taken aback that they would stutter over some half-assed answer and quickly move on to someone else, continually making nervous glances your direction the rest of the evening.

Ask them what the "one inconsistancy" is that KJA claims is the only mistake they've made in the books......

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:34 am
by The Phantom
thank them for the tip of the hat to the OH using scenes about irulan changing details about Paul's life.

it's an honour that they're so bothered by our nitpicking that they feel they have to justify their inconsistencies within the text :D

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:37 am
by Crysknife
Wow, crazy story. I'd at least let them know who you are and ask about Dumbnovels and why no one can post anything over there other than gushing praise. And then see what they do.....If they'll ever let you speak that is. :evil:

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:07 pm
by Omphalos
Baraka Bryan wrote:thank them for the tip of the hat to the OH using scenes about irulan changing details about Paul's life.

it's an honour that they're so bothered by our nitpicking that they feel they have to justify their inconsistencies within the text :D
That reminds me, as I walked up I heard the tail end of one of their points, and that is that Irulan intentionally changed the facts in the things she wrote about Paul. That is part of the reason that they are changing the stories. By the time I got settled they had moved on, and I forgot when it was Q&A time to ask about that.

I also just called the bookstore and the person I spoke to said that they would not be there again tonight. Im sure that the sign said they would be there for two days. Ill go back anyway after dinner just to make sure. And Ill drop my name this time and ask them a few of these questions, if they will take them from me.

Just in case, does anyone know when they will be in Sacramento? Ill even get the shit-shirt cleaned and wear it again.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:11 pm
by Mandy
Haha.. that is really cool, especially if they recognized you.

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:27 pm
by Ampoliros
:twisted:

I'm sure KJA recognized you. No way those passages about Irulan 'fixing' the details are anything less than the OH having them on the run.

Ask them if they plan on having a crisis among the BG as a major plot, since it seems that none of their BG characters are loyal to the sisterhood anymore.

Ask them why Norma is such a bitch that she has no loyalty to her race of origin and only swoops down and saves them once and then disappears, when its obvious she could save everyone when ever she wants. Why doesn't she take over for Leto II and become a true God-Emperess

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:01 pm
by GamePlayer
My condolences :)
You should grill them with questions and search for weak spots. It'd be great to know where the soft spots are so they can be hit with the next demotivator :)

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:29 pm
by Rakis
Hmmmm...I'm sure they drop out of the second day because they were grilled a little Image

But if they come back, you should asked about the board and why it's so quiet lately and why that guy "Freakzilla" isn't posting anymore...Image

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:56 am
by Liege-Killer
My recommendation is that you take them a gift. Perhaps a nice printout of your short story "Dune of the Dead"? :lol:

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:52 am
by SandChigger
TOO funny.

But too bad that you had to let them off easy.

I have no such relationship to preserve with the book store in Dayton. :twisted:

(I'm comin' for ya, Kevvy. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I think I'll take along the copy of Hidden Empire he sent me, have him sign it again. That'll really increase its eBay value! :lol: )

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:01 am
by Omphalos
SandChigger wrote:TOO funny.

But too bad that you had to let them off easy.

I have no such relationship to preserve with the book store in Dayton. :twisted:

(I'm comin' for ya, Kevvy. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I think I'll take along the copy of Hidden Empire he sent me, have him sign it again. That'll really increase its eBay value! :lol: )
They will be at a Border's or something in Sacramento. Im going to go then and I wont play nice then.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:10 am
by The Phantom
Omphalos wrote:
They will be at a Border's or something in Sacramento. Im going to go then and I wont play nice then.
Image

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:55 pm
by Ampoliros
GamePlayer wrote:My condolences :)
You should grill them with questions and search for weak spots. It'd be great to know where the soft spots are so they can be hit with the next demotivator :)
They have shown us their underbelly in this new book. Its waaay too obvious that KJA is on the run when it comes to dealing with OH constantly pointing out the new books' flaws and inconsistencies.

SC, you should totally stand up and identify yourself. Heck, bring a friend with a camera to zoom on their faces when you stand up and say "Hi, I'm SandChigger, and I have a few questions."

I'm sure that pic will serve to create a whole new generation of Demotivators.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:36 pm
by Omphalos
Sunday, September 21, 2pm
Barnes and Noble
1725 Arden Way
Sacramento, CA 95815
(916) 565-0644

:twisted:

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:37 pm
by Omphalos
For those of you who do not have the great fortune to live on the west coast, here is the remainder of the tour. It will not feature BH, as he is afwaid to fwy.


Tuesday, September 30, 7pm
Barnes and Noble
8374 S. Willow Street
Lone Tree, CO 80124
(303) 706-9660

Thursday, October 2, 7pm
Davis-Kidd Books
2121 Green Hills Village Dr
Nashville, TN 37215
(615) 385-2645

Friday, October 3, 7pm
Books & Co
At The Greene
4453 Walnut Street
Dayton, OH 45440
937-429-6302

Sunday, October 5, 3pm
The Regulator Bookshop
720 Ninth Street
Durham, NC 27705
919-286-2700

Tuesday, October 7, 7pm
Left Bank Books
399 North Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731

Friday, October 17, 4pm
Barnes and Noble
795 Citadel Drive East
Colorado Springs, CO 80909
(719) 637-8282

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:14 pm
by SandChigger
Friday, October 3, 7pm
Books & Co At The Greene
4453 Walnut Street
Dayton, OH


I don't think I've been to this particular store before. But I'll be going over and staying with friends in Middletown before returning to Japan and will scout out the area beforehand. :twisted:

I brought my "Chigger T" back with me and will be wearing it. There won't be any mistaking me. :lol:

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:32 pm
by Rakis
Ampoliros wrote:
GamePlayer wrote:My condolences :)
You should grill them with questions and search for weak spots. It'd be great to know where the soft spots are so they can be hit with the next demotivator :)
They have shown us their underbelly in this new book. Its waaay too obvious that KJA is on the run when it comes to dealing with OH constantly pointing out the new books' flaws and inconsistencies.

SC, you should totally stand up and identify yourself. Heck, bring a friend with a camera to zoom on their faces when you stand up and say "Hi, I'm SandChigger, and I have a few questions."

I'm sure that pic will serve to create a whole new generation of Demotivators.
:twisted: Oh yessssssss !!! Image

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:52 pm
by Liege-Killer
Tuesday, October 7, 7pm
Left Bank Books
399 North Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731
We'll have to get Worm to represent us at this one. I sure as hell ain't driving 2.5 hours just to hassle KJA, enjoyable as that might be. :lol:

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:02 pm
by Omphalos
Liege-Killer wrote:
Tuesday, October 7, 7pm
Left Bank Books
399 North Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731
We'll have to get Worm to represent us at this one. I sure as hell ain't driving 2.5 hours just to hassle KJA, enjoyable as that might be. :lol:
Tyrant over on DN and Star Dust are from the area too, IIRC.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:04 pm
by Ampoliros
He never comes to Texas.
.
.
.
I don't blame him.

For the record, I love Texas, and I'm not even a Republican.

NO WE DON'T ALL WEAR BOOTS AND RIDE HORSES!

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:49 am
by A Thing of Eternity
Ampoliros wrote:He never comes to Texas.
.
.
.
I don't blame him.

For the record, I love Texas, and I'm not even a Republican.

NO WE DON'T ALL WEAR BOOTS AND RIDE HORSES!
I love Texas too. I figure that the extra high concentration of wingnuts there must somehow lower the concentration everywhere else. :wink: :wink: :wink: (Please note the :wink: )

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:24 am
by Star Dust
Omphalos wrote:
Liege-Killer wrote:
Tuesday, October 7, 7pm
Left Bank Books
399 North Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731
We'll have to get Worm to represent us at this one. I sure as hell ain't driving 2.5 hours just to hassle KJA, enjoyable as that might be. :lol:
Tyrant over on DN and Star Dust are from the area too, IIRC.
'Tis my hometown, but now I'm about 4.5 hours away. If the stars align I just might make the trip. :)

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:35 am
by Omphalos
Star Dust wrote:
Omphalos wrote:
Liege-Killer wrote:
Tuesday, October 7, 7pm
Left Bank Books
399 North Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731
We'll have to get Worm to represent us at this one. I sure as hell ain't driving 2.5 hours just to hassle KJA, enjoyable as that might be. :lol:
Tyrant over on DN and Star Dust are from the area too, IIRC.
'Tis my hometown, but now I'm about 4.5 hours away. If the stars align I just might make the trip. :)
Oh yea. KC?

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:55 pm
by Robspierre
Ampoliros wrote:He never comes to Texas.
.
.
.
I don't blame him.

For the record, I love Texas, and I'm not even a Republican.

NO WE DON'T ALL WEAR BOOTS AND RIDE HORSES!
Yes but Austin is getting too crowded :wink:

Rob

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:04 pm
by Ampoliros
Keep Austin weird!