THE (ALMOST) UNDELETED

Would you rather fight a bear with sharks for arms, or 200 1st graders?

Uh-oh, BeeBee been imbibing again?

The first-graders. You just have to make a few cry and the others fall nicely into line.

Huh. Weird ... I'm getting Rilke on the Memory Channel.

What's the poem about encompassing the death of a child? Something about feeding one molded bread? Is that one of the Duino Elegies?

Anyway, what's this all about, BB?

Definitely the bear with sharks for arms. Just avoid with the rope-a-dope for a bit and eventually the sharks will suffocate, leaving the bear wide open for the coup de grâce.

I'll take the 200 1st graders. I can kick or swing a bat at least that many times before I get tired.

just figured i'd throw out a random thread

i'd take the bear... only one entity to worry about and the sharks only add a little functionality over the regular claws you'd have to contend with. if you're quick, you could beat him... those first graders can be thrown around and they just get back up and the sheer numbers would overwhelm you, IMHO

GamePlayer wrote:Definitely the bear with sharks for arms. Just avoid with the rope-a-dope for a bit and eventually the sharks will suffocate, leaving the bear wide open for the coup de grâce.

sharks that receive oxygen from the bear's respiratory system... so the suffocation thing doesn't work

200 1st graders.

I'd take the bear and enlist the aid of the 200 1st graders. That way their numbers would be winnowed down to something manageable before they turned on me.

Baraka Bryan wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Definitely the bear with sharks for arms. Just avoid with the rope-a-dope for a bit and eventually the sharks will suffocate, leaving the bear wide open for the coup de grâce.

sharks that receive oxygen from the bear's respiratory system... so the suffocation thing doesn't work

Oh yeah. What was I thinking?

Well fear not because I use my Two-Handed Sword of Shark-Armed Bear Slaying +99, naturally rolling all 20s. I also have more money than Gawd and recently dragged him, Satan, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Dr. Manhattan and Oprah into a MMA ring where, broadcast on Faux, I then proceeded to beat them all to death with my 100" blue cybernetic cock. You know what they say, once you've had bio-engineered, you never go back!

Nekhrun wrote:I'll take the 200 1st graders. I can kick or swing a bat at least that many times before I get tired.

NOW we're talkin'!

GamePlayer wrote:I then proceeded to beat them all to death with my 100" blue cybernetic cock. You know what they say, once you've had bio-engineered, you never go back!

[swoons]

GamePlayer wrote:

Baraka Bryan wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Definitely the bear with sharks for arms. Just avoid with the rope-a-dope for a bit and eventually the sharks will suffocate, leaving the bear wide open for the coup de grâce.

sharks that receive oxygen from the bear's respiratory system... so the suffocation thing doesn't work

Oh yeah. What was I thinking?

Well fear not because I use my Two-Handed Sword of Shark-Armed Bear Slaying +99

Meh...that's still doesn't beat my Shield-of-ever-wrong, you know the one with Gary Bettman's head on it...go head, hit on it as hard as you can...

aww be men and take them all on at once.

And through in a couple dozen teenage girls at a 60% shoe sale.

Eyes High wrote:
And through in a couple dozen teenage girls at a 60% shoe sale.

Hmmm...point taken...

Eyes High wrote:aww be men and take them all on at once.

And through in a couple dozen teenage girls at a 60% shoe sale.

i'll take them on (as long as they're 18 of course)

SandChigger wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:I then proceeded to beat them all to death with my 100" blue cybernetic cock. You know what they say, once you've had bio-engineered, you never go back!

[swoons]

You should see it when erect

Rakis wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Well fear not because I use my Two-Handed Sword of Shark-Armed Bear Slaying +99

Meh...that's still doesn't beat my Shield-of-ever-wrong, you know the one with Gary Bettman's head on it...go head, hit on it as hard as you can...

I have a very easy time envisioning a shield with Bettman's visage emblazoned upon it. And an even easier time seeing you standing atop Bettman's decapitated body holding his severed head in your other hand Clash-of-the-Titans style

Eyes High wrote:aww be men and take them all on at once.

And through in a couple dozen teenage girls at a 60% shoe sale.

What, my MMA record doesn't impress you enough? Myabe you need a beating too
I haven't been able to handle teenage girls for many a year. "Divide by half, add 7" keeps getting older every year

GamePlayer wrote: I haven't been able to handle teenage girls for many a year. "Divide by half, add 7" keeps getting older every year

at 22, that line falls at 18 for me, so I still have a few years

Let's see ... "a couple dozen" is 24; divided by half gives 12; add 7 gives 19.

19 teenage girls?

YES, PLEASE!!!

I really need to move to Japan where that kind of thing is socially acceptable

Ret's allu Enjo(y)-Kosai!