World's Worst Authors

Any old topic will do, I suppose.

World's Worst Authors

Postby Omphalos » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:33 am

Anyone got any suggestions for this place. Hmmm?
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)



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Postby tanzeelat » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:49 am

Any Rand
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Postby The Phantom » Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:54 am

what an opportunity!
everyone write in with an obvious suggestion.... to have him published as one of the worst writers on the globe would be priceless!
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Postby The Phantom » Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:08 am

my submission to the site:

I would like to nominate Kevin J. Anderson, (or "The Hack" as he's known by his critics), as the world's worst writer. KJA is the consummate example of quantity trumping quality in the literary world. He prides himself on publishing 10+ books per year, made possible by his habit of dictating while taking a hike, resulting in his self-proclaimed 'perfect prose' which precludes the need for editing. Despite his prolific output, KJA fails to exhibit any true creativity or original thought. He writes primarily in other writers' universes, often changing major details of theme, characterization or plot to suit the thoughts of the moment. He is loathed by Star Wars and Dune fans alike, for the changes he has wrought upon those worlds. In his latest atrocity, he demoted the genius of Frank Herbert's Dune to an error-stricken, in-universe document that is now secondary to his whimsical narratives. His need to surpass and exceed the legacies of the original authors, rather than complement and add to it, is a spiteful approach to making a name for himself.

With an ongoing trend of declining sales per volume, and increasing disgust and opposition from even die-hard fans, Kevin is sure to say less and less in more and more pages, to ensure the continued revenue stream he cites as proof of his literary genius.
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Postby Robspierre » Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:45 pm

Here is mine though when I tried to submit it I came across a could not find this page result, will try again later. here is my submission:

Kevin J. Anderson. A hack of the finest magnitude. This author hides his inadequacies by predominately working in the universes created by others, Star Wars and Dune, and has justly earned the wrath of all fans. A master of telling rather than showing, he writes for those with the attention span of a ferret on crack, repeating two pages later what happened in the previous two pages with the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the crotch. Displaying a complete lack of understanding of the themes and characters he writes about, KJA, is the ultimate propagator of munchkin thinking, everything has to be bigger, better, more powerful, all to compensate for his inadequate and small...brain... incapable of providing satisfaction to anyone.


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Postby The Phantom » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:05 pm

Robspierre wrote:Here is mine though when I tried to submit it I came across a could not find this page result, will try again later. here is my submission:

Rob


beautifully put Rob!
i had the same error message so I clicked through to the guy's main web page and the 'contact' tab on the left sidebar to submit it.
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Postby Liege-Killer » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:50 pm

Actually, I don't believe KJA fits the site's criteria:

This is a celebration of bad writing; a journey into the lives of writers so wonderfully awful, they have unwittingly arrived at genius from the wrong direction.


KJA is terribly awful, and hasn't arrived at genius from any direction.
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Postby The Phantom » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:58 pm

ya, but if he were put in the book, all people would remember is the title correlated with his name, not the criteria for inclusion :D
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Postby SandChigger » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:39 pm

Dear Lord the day of eggs is here...

I'm really afraid I have to agree with L-K here. But look at it this way: Kevin fails even at being one of the worst authors ever! He's mediocre even at being bad! :lol:

Either way, though, this is a rare find, Omph. :D
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Postby Omphalos » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:51 pm

I don't know guys. This could work any number of ways. There certainly are some terrible authors out there who could not turn a phrase at all, and who bore to tears. And there are others out there whose prose and posey is just so horribly done that its funny. But consider what KJA has given us: We have virtually filled up three boards now with how terrible he really is. And when we tear him down we are left with Zombie inspired chases, cross dressing robots, Sponge P'aub, ire inspiring falsifications and just stupid revisions. All in all, its a pretty motivational body of text he has given us. Certainly not genuis in any sense of the word, but certainly worthy of something. This looks pretty good to me. And how is this:

It is time. I have evolved.


Not pure schlock worthy of serious examination?
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)



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Postby SandChigger » Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:58 pm

I guess we need some stunning examples...and the epigraphs are a good place to start.

(Of course, he can always claim that HE didn't write those, Brian did. And Brian being a ghost with no voice, would never protest. Then again, maybe Kevin's ego wouldn't let him give Brian that credit...hmmm.... ;) )
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Postby Nekhrun » Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:13 pm

Omphalos wrote:I don't know guys. This could work any number of ways. There certainly are some terrible authors out there who could not turn a phrase at all, and who bore to tears. And there are others out there whose prose and posey is just so horribly done that its funny. But consider what KJA has given us: We have virtually filled up three boards now with how terrible he really is. And when we tear him down we are left with Zombie inspired chases, cross dressing robots, Sponge P'aub, ire inspiring falsifications and just stupid revisions. All in all, its a pretty motivational body of text he has given us. Certainly not genuis in any sense of the word, but certainly worthy of something. This looks pretty good to me. And how is this:

It is time. I have evolved.


Not pure schlock worthy of serious examination?


You win.
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Postby The Phantom » Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:48 pm

while there's no such thing as bad publicity and i'd hate to help the bastard out in any way, the thought of him featured in a book with that title is just too great to give up trying for IMHO
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Postby SpacemanSpiff » Sun Feb 08, 2009 12:12 am

Did you notice that there were no modern authors on that list?
Most of the aliens we have met in our exploration of the galaxy consider humans to be quite tasty. Well I say, If they have no problem with consuming another sentient being then I have no problem with blasting them into a pile of ashes.

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Postby Ampoliros » Sat Feb 14, 2009 2:09 pm

My submission

Kevin J Anderson

Way too much evidence against him. He combines the worst qualities of audacity and incompetence. His "prose" suggests a head-patting of the lowest common denominator of the reading populace, whereas his pride of accomplishment causes him to label anyone who points out flaws in his logic or work as a rabid "talifan".

His idea of an original though involves creating super weapons upon super weapons. This causes his writing to have a constant theme of one-upmanship because lets face it, 90% of his work is done in other people's universes (Star Wars, Dune, DC)

However I must add a caveat: KJA has not discovered a reverse genius in his books. If anything they are more mediocre and embarrassing than Atrociously Grand (ala Plan 9 from outer space). No one will ever form a fan club of "I can't believe I read KJA and praised him!" They'll just sadly cover their eyes and erase all public record of their shame.

Crimes against literacy
Suncrusher- A Star Wars ship so awesome it can destroy an entire solar system not just a measly little planet. Its also the size of a Shuttle and can only be flown by the most powerful jedi in the galaxy. It's also Indestructable.

Dune:
Lowering the IQ of every character in the greatest Sci-fi series ever created to about 12.

Completely reverses the philosophical message of the series from super-leaders are bad to lets have God and a Super-dude save the universe from Transvestite robots and a SuperComputer so SuperIntelligent that it tries to conquer a Universe-spanning Empire with slower than light ships.

Has the primer Assassin in the universe send his adopted daughter (a 6 year old toddler trained in assassination and political intrigue, and SuperKung-Fu)into his enemies palace to infiltrate and assassinate the Emperor. He cries when the Emperor's sister kills her.

These are some of the highlights. Nevermind the fact that he's usurped the Dune website with multiple links to his own sites and projects or that the 'Offical Boards' for Dune discussion don't allow any dissent suggested or supposed.

If KJA becomes a serious contender than I suggest the authors visit both www.Dunenovels.com as well as www.jacurutu.com and ask the posters there for more input. I'm not kidding we could write an entire library of books on how bad and damaging to literacy KJA is.


Thanks for reading my long-winded and poorly edited submission.


EDIT - I also got the "Can't find that page"
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Postby Seraphan » Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:46 pm

Ampoliros wrote:My submission

Kevin J Anderson

Way too much evidence against him. He combines the worst qualities of audacity and incompetence. His "prose" suggests a head-patting of the lowest common denominator of the reading populace, whereas his pride of accomplishment causes him to label anyone who points out flaws in his logic or work as a rabid "talifan".

His idea of an original though involves creating super weapons upon super weapons. This causes his writing to have a constant theme of one-upmanship because lets face it, 90% of his work is done in other people's universes (Star Wars, Dune, DC)

However I must add a caveat: KJA has not discovered a reverse genius in his books. If anything they are more mediocre and embarrassing than Atrociously Grand (ala Plan 9 from outer space). No one will ever form a fan club of "I can't believe I read KJA and praised him!" They'll just sadly cover their eyes and erase all public record of their shame.

Crimes against literacy
Suncrusher- A Star Wars ship so awesome it can destroy an entire solar system not just a measly little planet. Its also the size of a Shuttle and can only be flown by the most powerful jedi in the galaxy. It's also Indestructable.

Dune:
Lowering the IQ of every character in the greatest Sci-fi series ever created to about 12.

Completely reverses the philosophical message of the series from super-leaders are bad to lets have God and a Super-dude save the universe from Transvestite robots and a SuperComputer so SuperIntelligent that it tries to conquer a Universe-spanning Empire with slower than light ships.

Has the primer Assassin in the universe send his adopted daughter (a 6 year old toddler trained in assassination and political intrigue, and SuperKung-Fu)into his enemies palace to infiltrate and assassinate the Emperor. He cries when the Emperor's sister kills her.

These are some of the highlights. Nevermind the fact that he's usurped the Dune website with multiple links to his own sites and projects or that the 'Offical Boards' for Dune discussion don't allow any dissent suggested or supposed.

If KJA becomes a serious contender than I suggest the authors visit both www.Dunenovels.com as well as www.jacurutu.com and ask the posters there for more input. I'm not kidding we could write an entire library of books on how bad and damaging to literacy KJA is.


Thanks for reading my long-winded and poorly edited submission.


EDIT - I also got the "Can't find that page"

That sums it up pretty well. Although for my part i think he is unworthy of any recognition at all, oblivion is the only thing he deserves. I'm confident that a few years from now, no one will know who the fuck KJA was.
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