WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Any old topic will do, I suppose.
Post Reply
User avatar
Freakzilla
Archivist
Posts: 3453
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Location: Duluth, Georgia, USA
Contact:

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Post by Freakzilla »

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE ' of t he road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
They were destroyed because they lied pretentiously. Have no fear that my wrath
will fall upon you because of your innocent mistakes.

~Leto II, God Emperor
GamePlayer
Posts: 1156
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 1:38 pm
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post by GamePlayer »

Great list :) Almost a good laugh every line. :lol:
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"

"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
Omphalos
Alien Overlord
Posts: 5680
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:24 pm
Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
Contact:

Post by Omphalos »

Nancy Grace! :lol: :lol:

What a crazy bitch.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)



The Omphalos Umbrella Page
User avatar
Freakzilla
Archivist
Posts: 3453
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Location: Duluth, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Post by Freakzilla »

Omphalos wrote:Nancy Grace! :lol: :lol:

What a crazy bitch.
Yeah I hate her.

But Megan Kelly

Image

and Martha McCallum

Image

are smokin' hot, they can read me the news all day long.
They were destroyed because they lied pretentiously. Have no fear that my wrath
will fall upon you because of your innocent mistakes.

~Leto II, God Emperor
Omphalos
Alien Overlord
Posts: 5680
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:24 pm
Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
Contact:

Post by Omphalos »

I dont know them. but they look like Atlanta-CNN types to me.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)



The Omphalos Umbrella Page
User avatar
Freakzilla
Archivist
Posts: 3453
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Location: Duluth, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Post by Freakzilla »

They're Fox Babes.

If they were in Atlanta I'd be stalking them. :P
They were destroyed because they lied pretentiously. Have no fear that my wrath
will fall upon you because of your innocent mistakes.

~Leto II, God Emperor
Omphalos
Alien Overlord
Posts: 5680
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:24 pm
Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
Contact:

Post by Omphalos »

Fox? Something must be wrong with them mentally then. :P
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

-James C. Harwood, Science Fiction Writer, Straight (March 5, 1956 - May 25, 2010)



The Omphalos Umbrella Page
User avatar
Robspierre
Archivist
Posts: 961
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:52 am
Location: The Cascades of Oregon

Post by Robspierre »

Omphalos wrote:Fox? Something must be wrong with them mentally then. :P
Look at Hasselback on The View, she's never had an original thought in her head.


I love how Fox uses sex and then acts all fucking moral and christian with their commentators.

Rob
Friends are the family we choose.

http://kiltedrobspub.blogspot.com/
GamePlayer
Posts: 1156
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 1:38 pm
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post by GamePlayer »

Robspierre wrote:I love how Fox uses sex and then acts all fucking moral and christian with their commentators.

Rob
HAHAHAHA! So true. I always loved the irony of the puritan's definition of puritan. Faux News is pretty much one step away from Jerry Springer, yet it's the channel all the neo-conservative fundamentalists praise as this bastion of morality, fighting the good fight against that damnable liberal media :)
"What are we to call him, this Player of Games?"

"The books of Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert lie in a realm of uncertainty between self-conscious absurdity and genuine failure"
User avatar
Freakzilla
Archivist
Posts: 3453
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Location: Duluth, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Post by Freakzilla »

Fox news is on the 50 inch plasma in the break room in my office, that's the only time I watch it.

Speaking of CNN, Heidi Collins makes me throb...

Image
They were destroyed because they lied pretentiously. Have no fear that my wrath
will fall upon you because of your innocent mistakes.

~Leto II, God Emperor
User avatar
SpacemanSpiff
Posts: 37
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 6:30 pm

Post by SpacemanSpiff »

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To find out why firemen wear red suspenders.
User avatar
Rakis
Posts: 450
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:07 pm
Location: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Post by Rakis »

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
best one... :lol:
Neutrinos watch alert !

Image
Mahnmut
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:49 am

Post by Mahnmut »

KJA: Well you see the chicken had to cross the road because, she was on the trail of Erasmus, who was experimenting on her Mother, trying to create an army of thinking chickens, to do his evil bidding. Don't you agree Brian?... Brian I said, don't you agree? Yes, yes whatever, just write me a check.
User avatar
Eyes High
Momma Eyes
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:39 pm
Location: between the worlds of men and make believe

Post by Eyes High »

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
I think I like this one best.
I shall lift up my eyes unto the glory of the Lord.
Image

Safety's just danger out of place.
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”