Paul of Dune excerpt

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Paul of Dune excerpt

Postby Omphalos » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:02 pm

The first dingle-berry has been squoozeth out:

http://us.macmillan.com/BookCustomPage. ... 0765312945

Watch out not to step in any of it.

Upon scanning it, it looks even more YA than the last bunch. Where's the fucking subtlety?

And I can see the heresys these two are about to commit outlined on the wall now. This is gonna hurt.
Something is about to happen, Hal. Something wonderful!

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Postby Mandy » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:25 pm

Just that morning, Paul had sent Stilgar and his legion off with a rousing speech that included the words, “ ‘I bestow strength on you, my warriors. Go now and perform my holy bidding.’ ” It was one of his favorite passages from the Orange Catholic Bible.


Ugh.. they really don't know the characters at all, do they? Why the fuck would that be one of his favorite passages? He hated all the "holy" crap he was forced to live with. Is that passage something the hacks made up themselves? I don't remember reading it anywhere before.
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Postby Phaedrus » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:29 pm

Two major inconsistencies in the first chapter. Is that a new record?

1) Paul enshrined the skull of his father before he became Emperor, not a year after.
2) Paul has evidently lost his Other Memory. FH would have had Leto making a comment in Paul's head, if nothing else. (Note, this would have been clever of them to do, as it would be a reflection of Paul doing the same to Leto II in Frank's books)

Although, they aren't inconsistencies anymore, are they? They're "restructured" facts.
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Postby The Phantom » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:37 pm

why'd you get rid of the copy? i highly doubt that the HLP will sue you for re-printing an exerpt distributed online. it's like free press for them... more exposure.

i'll just quote a couple parts.

THe Hack's Twain wrote:Paul had sent Stilgar and his legion off with a rousing speech that included the words, “ ‘I bestow strength on you, my warriors. Go now and perform my holy bidding.’ ” It was one of his favorite passages from the Orange Catholic Bible.

"I am god. go shine my shoes minions" (bit of a far cry from the whole atreides honour shit that he's supposedly trying to keep alive in himself...

bedlam


heh.. bedlam

In a more civilized time, problems between Houses had been settled with an old-fashioned War of Assassins, but that solution seemed quaint and gentlemanly now, no longer plausible.


a good old fasioned hoe-down... dance till you drop and the last man standing wins the fief.

And his visions had been frightening.
But not all of them would be that sensible. . . .


i like making short 1 sentence paragraphs for dramatic effect... and using 4 dots instead of 3 in a dot-dot-dot sequence..... (oohh i used 5 there)

they were actually finer than any Paul had used when he’d lived as a fugitive among the Fremen.

ummm wasnt it established that non-sietch made stillsuits were shit in Dune?

two ribs, an ulna, and a femur that had been brutally snapped in two
I thought the baron kept the duke in good condition, just drugged. no mention of abuse prior to his kamikaze suicide...so the baron beat up the body afterwards?

“I have already built a shrine to Leto in my mind,” Jessica said
it's made from a lego kit of the egyptian pyramids (damn they're so cliche eh)

“It’s too bad you never actually knew him,” Chani said quietly
"Hi I'm Chani and i've been living with and around the kwizatz haderach and a pre-born child for 4 years and i still don't know about other memory... i'm a moron. fortunately, the writers have contrived a pointless scene to create an excuse to explain and reiterate what was said in paragraph 3 above."

encompass a trip my mother and father took to the Caladan wilderness after little Victor was killed.

fuck you KJAsshole and BHackbait

Finally, Paul touched the communicator stud on the collar of his stillsuit. “Korba, we are ready for you now.”

finally from whose perspective? the narrator? is the narrator impatient? or from Korba's? what was he doing, panting at the door waiting for his master's call?

what he called “religious momentum.”
"Kevin Kevin, look what i came up with... new term new term.." yes yes brian we're very proud, now shut up and let me write this next Jessica/Gurney sex scene...

“Where will you go?” Chani asked, as if she could not imagine a more preferable place to be.

"The Paul of the Muad-dib rolled his eyes, 'Chan, (for that was what the Paul of the Muad-dib called Chani when they were away from the crowds), you're such a ditz!"


_____________________________________________________________

if you feel you have to delete this for copyright reasons, please back it up somewhere first :D
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Postby Phaedrus » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:56 pm

Heh. The "..." is called an ellipsis, and it's only THREE periods, never more or less. Way to fail at basic grammar yet again, KJA.

In other news on the bad writing front: overuse of adjectives. Here's a list of pointless, redundant, and often stupid use of the form (adjective noun):

serene ocean
terrible storms
sacred world Dune
galactic hurricane
bloody Jihad
crumbling Imperium
fanatical Fedaykin
trusted officers
holy warriors
specific star systems and targets
rousing speech
agitated troops
fawning clamor of worshippers
isolated mountains
Fremen guide
high desert
His beloved Chani
the stark brown mountains
serene inevitability
quiet moment
devoted followers

Not going to comment on all of these, but come on. We're reading Dune. We know Arrakis is Dune, and that it's sacred to Fremen. "Bloody Jihad," "fanatical Fedaykin," "devoted followers," and "trusted officers" are redundant to anyone who has any context. 'Rousing speech' - well, what other kind of speech is Paul going to give his troops? "His beloved Chani"? "Serene inevitability" isn't clever, it's just stupid. Especially, once again, in context. There's nothing serene about the inevitability of mass slaughter.

I could go on, but you get the point.
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:57 pm

This is WONDERFUL. :D

I don't know about you lot, but I'm in SEVENTY-SEVENTH TICK HEAVEN this morning! :lol:

LOVE the Victor reference!

I think we agree that this is going to be the pattern for these books, right: they'll slip in tons of references to their own books (like little non-existent Victor) along with a few spoiler hints for things to come in future books, not just these Heroes volumes but also the post-Legends "Great Schools" umpteen-ology they made mouth noises about. (Wanna bet the OCB quote shows up in that book?)

But Byron was right in one sense: this IS the best one yet. Oh yeah, I'm gonna LOVE this one to death! :lol:

Phaedrus is right, the shrine was already built during Dune:

I was on razzia, Paul recalled. We went raiding to recover the water of our dead in Arrakeen. And I found the remains of my father in the funeral pyre. I enshrined the skull of my father in a Fremen rock mound overlooking Harg Pass.
Or was that a thing yet to be?
My wounds are real, Paul told himself. My scars are real. The shrine of my father's skull is real.

A bit of ambiguity (he's having a dream/vision) but I think the last line makes it clear.

And the impression I always had was of a cairn, but here's what they'll use to justify the ornate pyramid:

From Messiah:

She looked down at their shadows rippling across the promontory above Harg Pass, at the cliff and the rock pyramid containing the skull of her father. El Kuds—the Holy Place.

Could FH have meant a simple cairn with that? Need it have been a polished stone, Egyptian-style structure? What do you all think?

Oodles of repetition of things any Dune fan should already know. It's filler, nothing more.

Wonderful! :roll:
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."

"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."

Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Postby Omphalos » Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:51 pm

Baraka Bryan wrote:why'd you get rid of the copy? i highly doubt that the HLP will sue you for re-printing an exerpt distributed online. it's like free press for them... more exposure.


Screw the HLP, but I respect TOR and their editor (I'm sure its David Hartwell), and I'll abide by what they wish. Plus, one day they may want to send me free books to read and review, and I would not want them to have any reason to say "no" to that.
Last edited by Omphalos on Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Omphalos » Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:55 pm

Phaedrus wrote:Heh. The "..." is called an ellipsis, and it's only THREE periods, never more or less.


In legal style manuals they taught that five or stars (shift-8's) are called an ellipses too, but its uses when you edit out more than a paragraph. Does that have another name?
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Postby Rakis » Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:01 pm

On their trek, Paul and his three companions wore new stillsuits covered by mottled cloaks to camouflage them in the desert. Though the garments looked well worn, they were actually finer than any Paul had used when he’d lived as a fugitive among the Fremen. Their makers claimed that these durable offworld imports were superior to the simpler versions that had traditionally been made in hidden sietches.


Of course they are better...so is ultraspice...and Norma...and Uber shit... :roll:
Neutrinos watch alert !

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Postby Worm » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:13 pm

I'm numb. I don't see how you guys even have the strength to be able to discuss the abomination of it. It saddens me to the point that I just can't even read it so I can be informed enough to give reasons why I hate it.

These mistakes are so simple to avoid. Why are they taking this wonderful piece of written artwork by FH and perverting it into this smelly cesspool of floating turds???? The anger brought on by the deliberant whoring of the original books in this way… for what? Money! That’s all it has to be for. They took a wonderful, insightful and ground-breaking work and turned it into shit. Just so they can cash a check.

What a slap in the face, not only to Frank Herbert himself, but to every fan of the original Duniverse. The fans of which loved and identified with the characters and even tried to emulate the teachings of the various factions introduced in the books.

The new name I will apply to the writers of such trash (I can’t even bring myself to name them anymore) is “Prostitutes of Dune”. Selling themselves and the legacy of a masterpiece to anyone that flashes cash.
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Postby tanzeelat » Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:42 pm

Talk about graceless prose. The pair of them don't get any better.
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Postby SandChigger » Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:46 am

Do you really think Brian had much to do with this?

Omph...how did you find the excerpt? I haven't seen it mentioned in any of the usual places.

Interesting that it's Macmillan making it available, no? Why aren't they doing samples this year?

Did we make such fun of Kevin's foray into podcasting, and it turn out to be such a disaster anyway, that they decided not to provide any at all?

TFB. :lol:
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."

"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."

Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Postby inhuien » Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:51 am

The Fucking Idiots wrote:A serene ocean of sand stretched as far as the eye could see, silent and still, carry ing the potential for terrible storms. Arrakis—the sacred world Dune

Now that's as far as I could get before feeling sick, Sweet Mother of God surely this is a first draft, if not what terror did the poor proof readers go through. :( (can we get that barphing smiley from J)
Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with, and I know, that given the choice, I wouldn't have chosen you as friends, but I just want to say, that over the years, I have come to regard you as people I met.

-Rimmer’s farewell speech
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Postby Tleilax Master B » Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:37 am

Brilliant!! Already a wonderful inconsistency!! Byron is right, this is their best work ever--and WAAAYYY better than Messiah! I'm going to shred this piece of shit into tiny little pieces :twisted:
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Postby Purge » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:06 am

They just continue to cement the fact that their books have nothing to do with Dune-Chapterhouse. Sooner or later KJA, So-Frank, and Byron will be dead and gone. Hopefully a Herbert that has some respect and love for Frank's work will come along some day with the sense to exile these books into obscurity.
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Postby Mr. Teg » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:32 am

Ole Dune Pussy called this stuff "amazing"... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Narf!
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Postby A Thing of Eternity » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:50 am

I need the little barfing emoticon for this job. That's all I have to say.
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Postby Omphalos » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:57 am

SandChigger wrote:Do you really think Brian had much to do with this?

Omph...how did you find the excerpt? I haven't seen it mentioned in any of the usual places.

Interesting that it's Macmillan making it available, no? Why aren't they doing samples this year?

Did we make such fun of Kevin's foray into podcasting, and it turn out to be such a disaster anyway, that they decided not to provide any at all?

TFB. :lol:


I just searched around on the web site of Tor and found it. I knew that there was one out there somewhere. McMillian owns Tor. Publihing houses are all held in Byzantine conglomerates, and are traded and sold with some regularity, so that is why McMillian is hosting this now. Tor is also in the middle of a huge website makeover, so they probably wanted it someplace where it would stay put for a while too.
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Postby Mr. Teg » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:00 am

Someone said it was posted on dumbnovels as a new thread but got deleted...
Narf!
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Postby Mandy » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:33 am

Who the hell is Victor?
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Postby Omphalos » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:40 am

Mandy wrote:Who the hell is Victor?


Paul's older brother. :lol: :lol:
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Postby Freakzilla » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:54 am

Mr. Teg wrote:Someone said it was posted on dumbnovels as a new thread but got deleted...


Just to be sure, I posted it agan. :D
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Postby Mandy » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:08 am

Omphalos wrote:
Mandy wrote:Who the hell is Victor?


Paul's older brother. :lol: :lol:


Are you joking? You're not, are you? :?
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Postby Lisan Al-Gaib » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:12 am

Omphalos wrote:
Mandy wrote:Who the hell is Victor?


Paul's older brother. :lol: :lol:


Oh, fuck...
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Postby Omphalos » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:42 am

Mandy wrote:
Omphalos wrote:
Mandy wrote:Who the hell is Victor?


Paul's older brother. :lol: :lol:


Are you joking? You're not, are you? :?


Its in one of the House books that I have not read. Maybe someone who had had the pleasure can confirm and expound for us.
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Postby Purge » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:42 am

The only way they can redeem this book is if Victor comes back from the dead - guided by Kailee - and challenges Paul for his rightful throne. :lol:
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Postby A Thing of Eternity » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:57 pm

WHAAAAAAAAAT???????????????????????????????????????????????????

Why haven't I heard of and made fun of this before? Older Brother?
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Postby The Phantom » Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:04 pm

yeah leto had a son back in the day with his then-concubine kailea.... yeah he was a pimp.

then the kid dies with his uncle in a zepplin or something.

because of his devastation at the loss of his son, jessica gives him a new one when he takes her in like book 3 of the "Pre-ejaculation of Dune" series.

yeah paul's birth was due to the death of a character created by BH/KJA, musta been in the notes


fucking hacks
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Postby Omphalos » Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:16 pm

Baraka Bryan wrote:yeah leto had a son back in the day with his then-concubine kailea.... yeah he was a pimp.

then the kid dies with his uncle in a zepplin or something.

because of his devastation at the loss of his son, jessica gives him a new one when he takes her in like book 3 of the "Pre-ejaculation of Dune" series.

yeah paul's birth was due to the death of a character created by BH/KJA, musta been in the notes


fucking hacks


Kaliea Vernius? Is that the character CL co-opted in the Trannies of Dune series?
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Postby The Phantom » Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:26 pm

Omphalos wrote:
Baraka Bryan wrote:yeah leto had a son back in the day with his then-concubine kailea.... yeah he was a pimp.

then the kid dies with his uncle in a zepplin or something.

because of his devastation at the loss of his son, jessica gives him a new one when he takes her in like book 3 of the "Pre-ejaculation of Dune" series.

yeah paul's birth was due to the death of a character created by BH/KJA, musta been in the notes


fucking hacks





Kaliea Vernius? Is that the character CL co-opted in the Trannies of Dune series?


ummm can't remember but probably. i barely remembered any of those details from teh books cuz i havnt read them since the first time years ago.


i have 6 of the damn things... i vote in favour of the book burning
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Postby Phaedrus » Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:27 pm

Yeah, Victor was technically Paul's half-brother by the crazy Ixian bitch. Leto's firstborn! I think the mother ended up jumping out of a tower in Castle Caladan? I don't remember, it's been a long time(thankfully) since I've read those books.

I'm sure we'll have more ridiculous mumbo jumbo like the end of the House series, when at Paul's birth, some Fremen on Arrakis saw some sandworms dancing together or something. Because he's the TRUE messiah, not someone who just co-opted a myth.

:roll:
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Postby A Thing of Eternity » Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:46 pm

Phaedrus wrote:I'm sure we'll have more ridiculous mumbo jumbo like the end of the House series, when at Paul's birth, some Fremen on Arrakis saw some sandworms dancing together or something. Because he's the TRUE messiah, not someone who just co-opted a myth.

:roll:


Whaaaaaaat? Maybe I should read that series one day for laughes! Did that actually happen? What idiots.
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Postby Omphalos » Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:55 pm

You gotta be fucking kidding me. Who ever said that those books "weren't that bad" should be slapped in the head. Actually, I read the first one and pretty much hated it. Cant remember anything about it though. Thank God I did not go on. Dancing worms? Do you think that Paul has a Dancing Worms bumperskicker on his ornithopter, like Dead Heads who have Dancing Bears stickers on their Volkswagen Beetles?
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Postby Freakzilla » Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:29 am

I think we need to bring back "trout slapping".
They were destroyed because they lied pretentiously. Have no fear that my wrath
will fall upon you because of your innocent mistakes.

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Postby Sparafucile » Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:46 am

Tleilax Master B wrote:Brilliant!! Already a wonderful inconsistency!! Byron is right, this is their best work ever--and WAAAYYY better than Messiah! I'm going to shred this piece of shit into tiny little pieces :twisted:


I wonder if that's exactly what he means by it, but just doesn't expand on it because of his affiliations with the HLP?

... NAH. Wishful thinking. :roll:

By the way, I went to the website of the library here the other day, looking for Paul of Dune. Ok, so Ottawa isn't as big as Toronto or Montreal or others in Canada, but in the catalogue of the library that spans the ENTIRE capital city of Canada, there are no search results for Paul of Dune (novel), and only one of Paul of Dune (sound recording).

And there are only 6 requests for it. :twisted:

Interestingly enough, only Brian is credited as the author. I wonder if he did the reading? Probably just an oversight, though.
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Postby The Phantom » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:03 am

Sparafucile wrote:
Tleilax Master B wrote:Brilliant!! Already a wonderful inconsistency!! Byron is right, this is their best work ever--and WAAAYYY better than Messiah! I'm going to shred this piece of shit into tiny little pieces :twisted:


I wonder if that's exactly what he means by it, but just doesn't expand on it because of his affiliations with the HLP?

... NAH. Wishful thinking. :roll:

By the way, I went to the website of the library here the other day, looking for Paul of Dune. Ok, so Ottawa isn't as big as Toronto or Montreal or others in Canada, but in the catalogue of the library that spans the ENTIRE capital city of Canada, there are no search results for Paul of Dune (novel), and only one of Paul of Dune (sound recording).

And there are only 6 requests for it. :twisted:

Interestingly enough, only Brian is credited as the author. I wonder if he did the reading? Probably just an oversight, though.


i'm in the Toronto library system and the Hamilton system.

toronto (entire GTA, 99 branches etc) has ordered 24 copies and has only 11 holds, hamilton has ordered 7 copies and has 5 holds.

methinks they'll be selling off copies pretty quick
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Postby SandChigger » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:06 am

And all 11 of those Toronto holds are TAZ. :lol:
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Postby Star Dust » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:39 am

As I just said at DN, it really does amaze me - in a bad way - the lengths
some people will go to to explain something that, quite simply, doesn't need
explaining because it's flat out wrong. I mean, come ON! Quoting a
definition of the word "shrine"? What part of Paul's thoughts and words (that
Freak posted) don't they get? Although it grates against my being, I'm okay
with someone liking the prequs. But to the point of defending shoddy
research and writing? It just boggles the mind.

Mind. Fucking. Boggling.

EDIT: i keep forgetting that some here can't view DN. The above is in
reference to where and when Paul made the shrine of the resting place for
his father's bones. Apparently some people at DN find it logical to talk about,
"well, is a pile of rocks really a shrine?".
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Postby Tleilax Master B » Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:01 pm

SandChigger wrote:And all 11 of those Toronto holds are TAZ. :lol:


Why doesn't that egomaniac chickenshit join us at Jacurutu for some lively debate :twisted:
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Postby Omphalos » Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:30 pm

Tleilax Master B wrote:
SandChigger wrote:And all 11 of those Toronto holds are TAZ. :lol:


Why doesn't that egomaniac chickenshit join us at Jacurutu for some lively debate :twisted:


send him a note at my space and invite him. :twisted:
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Postby Freakzilla » Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:37 pm

That would certainly stir things up.
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Postby SandChigger » Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:52 pm

How 'bout let's not and say we didn't even consider it.

Besides, he wouldn't join a board like this or even Jacurutu. Where's the status in that for a preeking Preeq? (And you know he does whenever he gets email from or talks to Kevin on the phone. And he actually comes himself when they meet in person.)

Having crossed one idiot off the list for good, though, maybe it is time to revisit some goldie oldies. I'll send him a message over on MySpace. (I'm always a bit leery about writing these idiots anywhere they can claim you're harrassing them. :roll: )
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Postby Sparafucile » Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:27 am

Soo.. when can we expect to see a complete dissection of this steamer on Hairy Ticks? :D
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Postby SandChigger » Mon Aug 18, 2008 3:27 pm

Hmmm...good question.

I still haven't gotten to the electronics store to pick up a new thinking machine for home use. Am planning on doing so this afton. Should be all set up with essentials copied over by evening.

If the stars align and our schedules match up, we're doing a podcast tomorrow. (If not, it'll be next Wednesday.)

:wink:
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:48 pm

I just had a look at KJA's MySpace page and noticed this for the first time:

Image

That's hosted on the Macmillan website.

Um...nobody has ever "conquered the universe" in any Dune-related book.

Somebody JUST DOESN'T GET IT. :roll:
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Postby Omphalos » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:52 pm

SandChigger wrote:I just had a look at KJA's MySpace page and noticed this for the first time:

Image

That's hosted on the Macmillan website.

Um...nobody has ever "conquered the universe" in any Dune-related book.

Somebody JUST DOESN'T GET IT. :roll:


It should say "How did Muad'dib conquer the universe? At least....the part of the universe that is within the englobement of death?
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Postby GamePlayer » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:47 pm

I corrected it

Image

:)
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Postby Rakis » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:53 pm

Bless you, GP :)
Neutrinos watch alert !

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Postby Ampoliros » Tue Aug 26, 2008 9:14 pm

sweet :lol:

are there any rescued discussions about how Omnius with basic FTL couldn't have surrounded the scattering even with a 10000 yr head start?


Oh, and i can't wait to see how they retconn why the "improved" stillsuits in the excerpt don't show up in Children of Dune.
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Postby Nekhrun » Tue Aug 26, 2008 9:59 pm

GamePlayer wrote:I corrected it

Image

:)
Excellent.
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Postby Omphalos » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:00 pm

GamePlayer wrote:I corrected it

Image

:)


:D
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:54 pm

Nice, GP.

Keep it up. You'll get your DN account deleted yet! :D
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Postby The Phantom » Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:01 am

Omphalos wrote:
GamePlayer wrote:I corrected it

Image

:)


:D



amazing!
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Postby Mr. Teg » Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:02 am

SandChigger wrote:
Image


Spice Gas?



(Fremen Justice: Spice Gas by Kevin J. Anderson and Brian Herbert)
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Postby Freakzilla » Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:26 am

Mr. Teg wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
Image


Spice Gas?



(Fremen Justice: Spice Gas by Kevin J. Anderson and Brian Herbert)


Is that the original?

Shouldn't there be a hyphen in there? I can't believe they can't even spell Paul-Muad'dib correctly.

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Postby GamePlayer » Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:50 am

SandChigger wrote:Nice, GP.

Keep it up. You'll get your DN account deleted yet! :D


That'd be hilarious if I was banned over these parody pictures, though I'd never know it unless one of you guys told me. If I were banned, it sure would be a testament to the effectiveness of these little creations. I couldn't think of any more resounding praise :)

I think soon I have to make a thread that collects all this stuff. I don't want to lose track of it all. :)
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Postby Ampoliros » Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:29 am

I'm getting a new ip address today...wondering if its worth it to go lurk on DN again.
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Postby A Thing of Eternity » Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:04 am

Ampoliros wrote:sweet :lol:

are there any rescued discussions about how Omnius with basic FTL couldn't have surrounded the scattering even with a 10000 yr head start?


Oh, and i can't wait to see how they retconn why the "improved" stillsuits in the excerpt don't show up in Children of Dune.


That dead horse has been reduced to pulp by myself and others over at DN. I also injected the fact that (and I'm interested to see if this gets removed/altered in a later edition of Sandworms) the authors fucked up big time and actually said in the text that the machine ships are lightspeed, not FTL - which makes the whole book an even bigger pile of shit.
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Postby SandChigger » Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:58 pm

Ah, yes, the famous lightspeed engines. :roll:

100,000+ years to cross the galaxy.

And the New Synchronized Empire was HOW far away again? On the other side of the galaxy? (I mean, the universe.)

Feh.
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Postby GamePlayer » Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:35 pm

A Thing of Eternity wrote:That dead horse has been reduced to pulp by myself and others over at DN. I also injected the fact that (and I'm interested to see if this gets removed/altered in a later edition of Sandworms) the authors fucked up big time and actually said in the text that the machine ships are lightspeed, not FTL - which makes the whole book an even bigger pile of shit.


Do KJA and BH even know what a light year is? Or what it means? What the hell did these two train with, writing recipe pages for Cosmopolitan?

No self-respecting science fiction author writing in this decade would fail to understand the concept of light speed or light year. Hell, most of the original sci-fi authors understood that basic concept when they were writing 40-50 years ago.

You know, everyone talks of asking KJA/BH interview questions or leading questions at public appearances and conferences; has anyone ever considered just asking these two clowns what a light year is or what the acronym for laser actually means? Or any of a number of basic science/astronomical questions that any 6th grader should be able to answer? I bet KJA couldn't even tell me what makes water boil.

These two turkeys might not even understand the difference between a flat character and a round character. Their writing certainly fails to make any distinction.
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Postby Robspierre » Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:23 pm

We need a thread to create a list of questions for Eru and Freak. Just in case they actually get a chance to ask them.

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Postby Ampoliros » Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:11 pm

:roll: We should start a petition to have The new Dune books categorized as fantasy, not Sci-Fi. Cause wanting these to have any relevance in the Sci-Fi genre other than WTF ARE YOU DOING is a fantasy.


Questions:

Since you do not have an accurate grasp of time and distance, wouldn't it be better to homage Star Wars and just say that Omnius made the Galactic Border Run in "under 12 parsecs" rather than attempting to justify making a 50,000~ light year journey and setting up an Empire several hundred thousand light years in diameter (Using conservative figures of only one galaxy, FH suggests that the empire is in fact spread over multiple galaxies which would multiple these figures exponetially...) in 10,000 Years with engines that can't break lightspeed. Is Omnius's fear of "unpredictable" travel methods your own little jab at Brian's "irrational" fear of flying? (Author's Note: I don't besmirch Brian for fearing to fly, if I almost died in a plane crash I wouldn't set foot in them again either.)

After the current Tetrology, what plans are there for the Dune Universe. Do you see yourself continuing to write Dune novels after that or will you be looking for other opportunities?

Why does Paul seek to justify the Jihad. Doesn't having Paul attempt to "P.C." the Jihad cast him in a tragic heroic light rather than the anti-heroic light which Frank uses in Dune Messiah and God Emperor (for Leto II)?

Is it true that you signed this copy of DUNE by Frank Herbert and didn't correct the person who said it was your "best work ever?"

Are you a fan of Robert Jordan? Do you realize he left a corpse that has of yet not been raped by a Hack author? I'm sure the Wheel of Time fans are just frothing at the mouth for more.

Do you have anosmia? Is that why you think your shit don't smell?
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Postby SandChigger » Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:33 pm

Ampoliros wrote:Is Omnius's fear of "unpredictable" travel methods your own little jab at Brian's "irrational" fear of flying?

THAT would be too funny, wouldn't it? :lol:

(Author's Note: I don't besmirch Brian for fearing to fly, if I almost died in a plane crash I wouldn't set foot in them again either.)

Well, that's your choice, of course. I choose to go HA HA HA NYAH NYAH NYAH any chance I get.

Just remember, we have very few details about that "crash". Byron mentioned once that it was a "small" plane, and that Brian was injured, but I've never read any official news report about it and no one has ever pointed to anything online or indicated even when it happened, or where. (Hmmm...it just occurred to me that I've never looked through Dreamer of Dune for anything on it! :) ) So "almost died in a plane crash" is probably an exaggeration.

For all we know he was a passenger in a small Cesna that blew a tire while taxiing, veered off the runway and ran into some shubberies and Brian was thrown forward and bumped his noggin on the back of the pilot's seat. (That would explain a lot, no?) Sounds like the kind of overreaction that is typical of this man, if it's true that he gave up the Internet after seeing just one distasteful image online. (A story that Kevin also tells of him, btw.)


:roll:
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Postby The Phantom » Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:13 am

no no,
kim was flying a toy airplane and she wasn't very good with a remote control, the plane did a nosedive and cut him on the hand as he attempted to grab it out of the air.
it was quite traumatic.
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Postby SandChigger » Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:53 am

Let's see, can we recast this stuff so it's BALANCED, SOPHISTICATED, and POINTED?

Balance: Brian's a Luddite technophobe, a REALLY SHITTY WRITER and usually looks like he's totally out of it, BUT he's also evidently a loving husband and father and a very gentle man who never kicks small furry forest animals.

Whoa...trying to be balanced has worn me out. Anyone want to try their hand at the other two? :D
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Postby Seraphan » Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:55 am

GamePlayer wrote:
A Thing of Eternity wrote:That dead horse has been reduced to pulp by myself and others over at DN. I also injected the fact that (and I'm interested to see if this gets removed/altered in a later edition of Sandworms) the authors fucked up big time and actually said in the text that the machine ships are lightspeed, not FTL - which makes the whole book an even bigger pile of shit.


Do KJA and BH even know what a light year is? Or what it means? What the hell did these two train with, writing recipe pages for Cosmopolitan?

No self-respecting science fiction author writing in this decade would fail to understand the concept of light speed or light year. Hell, most of the original sci-fi authors understood that basic concept when they were writing 40-50 years ago.

You know, everyone talks of asking KJA/BH interview questions or leading questions at public appearances and conferences; has anyone ever considered just asking these two clowns what a light year is or what the acronym for laser actually means? Or any of a number of basic science/astronomical questions that any 6th grader should be able to answer? I bet KJA couldn't even tell me what makes water boil.

These two turkeys might not even understand the difference between a flat character and a round character. Their writing certainly fails to make any distinction.


And it said in one of the prequels that he was somehow related to NASA? Just look at what this dilusional hack did http://www.amazon.com/review/product/0671041495/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_helpful?_encoding=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending he fucking wrotte a Starcraft novel; just look at the result. And then comes Byron saying that Kevin's novels are so sweet they're like unicorn giggles.
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Postby SimonH » Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:04 pm

Seraphan wrote:
<snip>

And it said in one of the prequels that he was somehow related to NASA? Just look at what this dilusional hack did http://www.amazon.com/review/product/0671041495/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_helpful?_encoding=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending he fucking wrotte a Starcraft novel; just look at the result. And then comes Byron saying that Kevin's novels are so sweet they're like unicorn giggles.


wow does this sound familiar:

* THE BEAR * "Hell hath no fury like the fami... wrote: ... but I found two annoying flaws.

The first one is that the book very often tends to repeat itself. The chapters are very short and feature lots of different characters and therefore the author is constantly repeating what had happened and what someone had felt. On and on and on... Like a schoolmate crawling to write the required amount of words for an essay.

The second minus - the very end is too fairy-talish. Too happy. Verdant meadows and reincarnated people? Come on... 'StarCraft' Is not a cartoon for children or a tale before going to sleep.
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Postby SandChigger » Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:19 pm

HEY!!!

I found out about the plane crash!

Posting over on Jacurutu in a little while. :twisted:
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Postby Ampoliros » Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:02 am

Seraphan wrote:
And it said in one of the prequels that he was somehow related to NASA? Just look at what this dilusional hack did http://www.amazon.com/review/product/0671041495/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_helpful?_encoding=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending he fucking wrotte a Starcraft novel; just look at the result. And then comes Byron saying that Kevin's novels are so sweet they're like unicorn giggles.


When i need a good laugh i go read those reviews. We should email them one at a time to Kevin. I'm sure those SC people are all just talifans...

I think this explains why Kevin's comic writings are considered his "best". He doesn't have to show you what happens, thats up to the artist. So even then, none of Kevin's "success" is his own making.
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Postby GamePlayer » Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:31 am

Seraphan
Like I keep saying, KJA has a reputation among all fan/consumer circles as a poor writer. His attempt to marginalize critics to a few "bad apples" or "talifans" is not only utter rubbish, it's an outright lie.

Speak with Dune fans, they call KJA a hack,
Speak with Star Wars fans, they call KJA a hack,
Speak with Starcraft fans, they call KJA a hack,

The litmus test: join any forum or product review website online (with the exception of gestapo-run official company websites) and utter KJA's name. See what happens.

It's the same situation internet wide. Gee, who knew there were so many of those "bad apples" :)
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Postby Seraphan » Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:58 am

Yup, couldnt have said it better. Actually that's part of the reason why i hate HLP/KJA fusion. They flower up mediocracy, capitalise on already established franchises and (worst of all) they attempt to make anyone that dislikes this and voices it into a villain or a nerdy fan boy.
Anyone that likes good literacy and, by good literacy i mean Les Miserables by Victor Hugo or Shadow Over Innsmouth by H.P. Lovecraft, sees and protests against this sort of wrong.
It pisses me off to be called an OH by people that read anything that is filled with battle descriptions and calls it "great novel". They have as much insight as a headless turtle.
I may seem to be ranting but i'm actually just voicing a legitimate complaint and opinion shared by READERS, and not the so called fan boys or OH's. That's what we are Byron, READERS!!! Not brain dead teens that swallow bullcrap arguments :evil:

Note: To the members of the forum that already know too well my opinion, please ignore my rant.
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Postby SandChigger » Sun Aug 31, 2008 2:34 pm

(I wish people would stop using the ridiculous "OHers". It's Orthodox Herbertarian. There's no fucking "-er" anywhere near the end. Just another indication of how language impaired some of them are. :evil: )
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Postby Nekhrun » Sun Aug 31, 2008 2:46 pm

SandChigger wrote:(I wish people would stop using the ridiculous "OHers". It's Orthodox Herbertarian. There's no fucking "-er" anywhere near the end. Just another indication of how language impaired some of them are. :evil: )

OHians? You selfish prick!
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Postby SandChigger » Sun Aug 31, 2008 2:54 pm

:D
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Postby Omphalos » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:45 pm

SandChigger wrote:(I wish people would stop using the ridiculous "OHers". It's Orthodox Herbertarian. There's no fucking "-er" anywhere near the end. Just another indication of how language impaired some of them are. :evil: )


OH? Really?
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Postby The Phantom » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:50 am

Omphalos wrote:
OH? Really?



:lol: :lol:
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