Dune: House Atreides - Edited and Revised version.

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Dune: House Atreides - Edited and Revised version.

Postby Lisan Al-Gaib » Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:59 pm

I finished reading the House Atreides. In spite of being agaisn t the Bh & KJA Dune books, I really liked some chapter and plots, but there was somes that I hated.
I believe they have some kind of Frank's notes about the background of Dune, and then put some of that in the Prelude series, and because of that I felt I had to search for these elements. Starting from that, I begin a personal work to turn House Atreides more similar to what the real fans of Dune and I expected.
I cut unnecessary chapters, deleted miscreated informations, cliché, deleted some things that didn't fix to the original books, replace and changed characters and all that without change the main plot (Tleilaxu spice).But I didn't re-write the book, chapter or a hole paragraph.

The only chapters that remain mostly untouched was from the Paulus and Helena Atreides, Leto Atreides and Pardot Kynes.

The most dramatical shifted character was Mohiam. She no longer exist. She was correctly changed for Tanidia Nerus, the real mother of Jessica as Leto II said in Children of Dune.

Well, here goes a list of the changes made in this revision:

1) Gaius Helen Mohiam => Tanidia Nerus
2) Duncan's parents killed in front of him => Duncan's sister killed in front of him. (Leto II said about a Duncan's sister being killed by the Harkonnens)
3) Elacca => Ecaz (Elacca world don't exist).
4) Shadam less stupid.
5) Harmonthep citations deteled ("It is supposed to have been a no longer existent satellite of Delta Pavonis." - Dune)
6) Fenring killing Concubine chapter deleted.
7) Mohiam praying for god chapter deleted.
8)Mohiam crying for killing her deformed daugther chapter deleted.
9) Anirul consulting Feng-Shui mystic half-chapter deleted. (the other half is about Jessica's birth)
10) All the Rogos transceiver sub-plot deleted.
11) All citations of Tleilaxu masters being religious fanatic deleted. (that was only discovery in HoD)
12) Idiotic and cliché passages.
13) Language of God being explained to be the DNA deleted. (that should remain a beautiful metaphor)
14) Idiotic Bloodsucker Tleilaxu machine deleted.
15) Navigator D'murr sub-plot deleted. (Navigator should remain a mysterious)
16) Leto and Rhombur adventure in the reef deleted.
17) "of Dur" deleted. (From where they take the idea that the people in Duniverse pray for a God called Dur??? Religions in Duniverse were amalgam from the real religions )
18)Lady Shando being killed chapter deleted. (unnecessary, that is explained in the next chapter)
19) Shaddam teachers fucking deleted. (go fuck in other universe - Changed made to turn the chapter more serious)
20) Funny fat lady deleted. (obviously)
21) Duncan felling something strange in the bull chapter deleted. (unnecessary - situation explained in the bull fighting chapter)
22) Baron killing a dwarf chapter deleted. (obviously)
23) Rabban exploding Sandworm half-chapter deleted. (no one blow up Shai-Hulud!)
24) Bridge of Hrethgir citation deleted. (that event never happened)
25) Butlerian Jihad misinterpretations deleted. ("Once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them." - Dune)
26) All citation to Nuked Salusa Secundus deleted. (Any mention in the originals about Salusa being nuked.)
27) "Spice mus flow" deleted. (a infamous tribute to David Lynch movie)
28)Robo-piloted shuttle deleted. (A obviously transgression to the BJ)
29) All citation to the breeding program beginning in the BJ times deleted. (90 generations before isn't in the BJ)
30) Force-field bar => pentashield. (to be more like the Duniverse)
31) Tleilaxu twin trying to kill Leto chapter deleted. (unnecessary)
32) Fenring killing tleilaxu pilot chapter deleted. (unnecessary)
33) Suboids deleted, now they are only religious workers.

I think that is all. I made that version for me, but if anyone wanted it, send me a message with your e-mail and I'll give you a copy.
If you find more things that should be deleted or changed, tell me and I'll analise.

Well, I don't agree with the main plot, but as I couldn't delete it, I try to edit the book achieving the best way.

During this work I feel my self has the book editor they never had. A editor committed to Dune.
Last edited by Lisan Al-Gaib on Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

-from "The Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
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Postby A Thing of Eternity » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:44 pm

I was planning on reading the House series eventually, I keep hearing that they're better than the Legends and Dune 7 books... this doesn't make me very optimistic. Looks like most of the book is just as moronic as the ones I have read.
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:29 pm

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!

And we all know what that sound is!

Oh, we don't?

It's the sound of the little jingle bells hanging from the Buddha's nipple rings that get jangled when some mortal being reaches ENLIGHTENMENT! :D
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."

"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."

Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Postby Lisan Al-Gaib » Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:17 pm

A Thing of Eternity wrote:I was planning on reading the House series eventually, I keep hearing that they're better than the Legends and Dune 7 books... this doesn't make me very optimistic. Looks like most of the book is just as moronic as the ones I have read.



The truth is: This book is totally unnecessary. Like all the books of Bananas in Pajamas. The main plot of the book contradict a lot of informations from the originals. But, on the same way, it has some interesting sub-plots and some few chapters.

Examples: I think that the story of Paulus & Helena Atreides and Pardot Kynes (this based on the appendix of Dune) are the best thing of the book. In other hand, the Tleilaxu plot, House Vernius and Rabban are a shit.

The best chapter of the book is when Leto see himself as Duke. I believe that BH made a good work on that (I truly believe that KJA was out, because did't have action) .

Returning to shit, we can notice that they don't understand what the Kwisatz Haderach project is for. They describe that will change the political scenarium, the humanity destiny, will increase the BG power, but don't say that the Kwisatz haderach is to take humanity out of stagnation! I swear! Search for the word stagnation in the book!

Well, was because of this vision that I had from the book, that I started to edit it for me.
Last edited by Lisan Al-Gaib on Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

-from "The Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
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Postby Phaedrus » Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:17 pm

Sometimes I think you're all on drugs and not sharing.
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Natural high, kiddo. At least in my case! :D

Lisan...I'd never heard of "Bananas in Pajamas" before. Nice reapplication!

(I was going to mention the 90 generations thing, but see you've already covered it in (29).)

There's just too much shit in their books.... :roll:
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."

"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."

Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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Postby Lisan Al-Gaib » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:03 pm

SandChigger wrote:Natural high, kiddo. At least in my case! :D

Lisan...I'd never heard of "Bananas in Pajamas" before. Nice reapplication!

(I was going to mention the 90 generations thing, but see you've already covered it in (29).)

There's just too much shit in their books.... :roll:


Bananas in pajamas was a TV program for babies. The Protagonists was Bh&K...er two bananas inside a pajamas.
The goal is:

It's how we call BH&KJA in the Brazillian Dune community!

We have one thousand people there. :wink: And the half hate them :twisted:
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

-from "The Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
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Postby SandChigger » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:11 pm

Only half? :D

Sweet.
"Chancho...sometimes when you are a man...you wear stretchy pants...in your room...alone."

"Politics is never simple, like the sand chigger of Arrakis, one is rarely truly free of its bite."

Arrakeen is an unawakened ghola.
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